Why We Do What We Do

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“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”  Galations 6:9

Father, I pray that we as a nation would not grow weary in doing good.  I pray for those with a heart for life to be bold and encouraged to continue to stand and speak for truth.  Let us stand and rise up as a mighty army of truth and light to defeat death and darkness.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

A friend and Deeper Still Chapter Leader, Laurie Haynes, wrote about an experience she had recently on her Facebook page.  I asked her if I could share it today:

“I'm really struggling today. I was working at the PRC (Pregnancy Resource Center) this morning and found out that a sweet client that I met with 3 weeks ago decided to have an abortion 2 days ago. When I did her ultrasound 3 weeks ago, that little one was 8 weeks, had a strong heartbeat and was moving around. The pictures below show what a 12 week baby looks like - the same age her baby was when it was aborted on Wednesday. I am hurting so much for her and grieving this little one. Please pray for her.”

These pictures show a baby in the womb at 12 weeks.  As is scientifically known and as we can also physically see, this is not a blob of tissue nor a group of cells, this is a fully developing baby complete with fingers and toes.

 

I remember the first time I saw the ultrasound of my first born son, Joseph, at 12 weeks.  The reality of how developed and alive he was in the womb flooded my heart with a mixture of joy and sorrow.  Joy at seeing him jump and move in the womb and sorrow at the reality of the choice I made to end a life at 11 weeks of age nine years earlier.  There is nothing more sobering than seeing. 

How anyone could deny these are living human beings is beyond comprehension for me.  I don’t condemn this young girl she is referring to above, I once was her.  Instead, my heart is grieved for her and for her child. 

One of the missions of Deeper Still is to advance the cause for life.  We want to see those who have been wounded by abortion set free and healed.  Yes and amen.  Deeper Still is a post-abortion healing ministry and pro-life.  Post-abortion healing ministries are in the fight for life.  Our mission is simple and our objective is clear.  Our mission:  Healing and lasting freedom for those wounded by abortion.  Objective:  To rise up an army of women and men who are free to be a voice and stand for truth, to tell the world the truth about abortion, to dispel the lies of the enemy and defuse the declaration of darkness.   If women and men are not free to speak, silence by default becomes an ally to the enemy’s tactics to steal, kill and destroy. 

I pray those in the pro-life community would embrace and advance post-abortion healing ministry and see it as a potent weapon in the arsenal of justice and truth. 

If you are pro-life and have a heart for seeing abortion defeated in this nation, there is a worship and prayer opportunity this Saturday, August 26^th, in Maryville, TN at Foothills Church.  It is an all-day event, from 8am until 6pm.  You are welcome to just stay for a little while or all day if you’d like!  It is totally open to all who want to come pray.   There will also be live streaming of the event for those who live out of town but would like to stand with us in prayer for our nation and the world in seeing the captives set free and abortion end.  You can go to our Facebook page Deeper Still on Saturday to find the link to live streaming.  Will you please stand with us to pray to end abortion?  We need you.  

When Jesus Shows Up

“You shall fear the Lord your God; you shall serve Him, and to Him you shall hold fast, and take oaths in his name.  He is your praise, and He is your God who has done for you these great and awesome things which your eyes have seen.” Deuteronomy 10:20-21

Father, again we give You all praise, glory and honor due Your Name! We may never fully understand the vastness of Your holiness, power and authority.  We give you honor and acknowledge that we are just small vessels, and we are humbled that You would give us the opportunity to partner with you in advancing Your Kingdom and setting Your people free.  Your power and might are incomprehensible and we are in awe of Your majesty.  We praise You for all You are and all You do!  We love you!  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Deeper Still Summer Retreat 2017 in Knoxville, Tennessee, will be remembered as one epic retreat.  It was off the charts amazing as the Lord showed up and showed off big time in changing the hearts and lives of those attending.

 

It is difficult to express in words the power and glory of the Lord that was experienced by the team members and the participants who attended that weekend.  One of our team members, Alaina Wingo, wrote of her experience: 

“I never was able to understand what it meant to fear the LORD until one day He gave me an image which helped me understand a bit more. I saw a picture of myself in a small boat in the middle of an ocean. The sea was placid with no land in sight. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a massive whale breached the water with his tail towering next to me. Though his tail alone was so much bigger than the boat, there was no damage to me or the boat.  I was filled with AWE and FEAR. To witness such an amazing sight was humbling and incredible and could have brought me to tears.  A feeling of terror approached me while marveling at the power and size of this great beast.

Our GOD out scales any whale, incomparably so. We cannot comprehend His greatness. My fear of the Lord is out of utter reverence for our POWERFUL GOD.  Just a glimpse and I am in awe. And that is how this retreat felt in some ways. There always seem to be problems before a retreat and often during. However, when Jesus shows up, all confusion falls away and fear dissipates to its appropriate place--.in the Lord alone.

Unprecedented things happened during the retreat. And yet I feel like we haven't seen anything. There's always more. I am truly humbled that God can take a group of imperfect people looking to serve and be healed and do such big things. We built the altar and He lit it on fire."

~Alaina Wingo, Deeper Still Team Member, Knoxville, TN

The Mission is Too Great

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”  Ephesians 4:1-3

Father, as Deeper Still grows, we ask for unity in the teams.  We ask for the leaders of the teams and the team members to understand the power of unity and understand the importance of fighting to keep the unity of the Spirit.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Unity doesn’t just happen.  If it did, Paul wouldn’t have had to write Ephesians 4:1-3.  When he says, “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace“, there is an understanding that acquiring and maintaining unity must be intentional. 

How many churches have split over minute issues?  How many divisions have there been in ministry over mishaps?  The power of unity is to be sought for and fought for. 

Earlier this year, I had a misunderstanding with a friend who served with me in another ministry and offense entered.  It wasn’t my intention to offend, but offense does not care if it was invited, it will just come and try to crash any Kingdom party. 

Knowing I had offended my friend, I asked for her forgiveness.  She admitted she had been offended and forgave me easily.  The Lord had already begun speaking to her about the offense and revealed to her I did not intend harm.  Prayer had been the catalyst to all this misunderstanding being resolved and all was well.  We were able to easily move forward in serving together with unity.  It was a beautiful resolution and we both grew in the process. 

Later on, another friend we served with in this ministry asked me about the situation and how we were able to resolve it so quickly and move forward.  I answered her, “The mission is too great.  The mission is greater than any small differences or misunderstandings.  We cannot afford to be offended and lose unity when there is a mission as great as the Kingdom of God.”  There were ladies who needed to be loved on.  They needed to hear about freedom in Christ.  Disunity would have hindered the work of the Lord and that just wasn’t acceptable. 

The mission is too great. 

What if we applied this mantra to other areas of our lives?  Our marriages?  Relationships with our children? Relationships with others in our church family?  The power of unity is vital.  There is no limit to what the Lord will do with a team that is unified.  Friends, the mission is too great.  Let’s endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  

加油 Add Oil

“’Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.’ Then he said to her ‘Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels, do not gather just a few.  And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it into all those vessels and set aside the full ones.’” 2 Kings 4:2b-4

Father, thank you for your Holy Spirit and anointing.  Lord, we recognize our need for you.  Father, we pray for our Chinese sisters who are having their first retreat next weekend.  Lord, will you add your oil (anointing) and pour out Your Spirit on them and those attending. Do above and beyond anything they could ask, think or imagine.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

One of my Chinese friends would say the phrase “Add Oil” often while ministering together.   This phrase intrigued me and I loved it!  After looking it up, I found the phrase was a common Chinese expression of encouragement.  The phrase in English would read, “jiā yóu”. 

After being with my friend Joy from China who said this, I was writing and frankly felt a bit rusty.  I was texting a friend asking her to pray since I “felt rusty” and without thinking said, “I think I need to add some oil,”  referring to feeling rusty.  Then I laughed out loud at what I just typed.  Add oil.  Yes!  I need to add oil! 

In ministry, we need the Holy Spirit.  Without His oil, we will be like a rusty hinge making only noise. 

We have to add His oil to everything we do.  We need His oil.  And we need to be full vessels in order to be able to pour out the oil inside of us to others. 

The lady in the passage mentioned above in 2 Kings 4 had nothing but a jar of oil.  She told the man of God, “I have nothing… but a jar of oil.” 

 

You may feel today like you have nothing.  You may feel ill-equipped and like you have nothing to offer.  But if you have the Holy Spirit inside of you as a believer, you have oil.  And the Lord wants you to use the oil you have to pour out into the vessels around you—and not just a few.  Add oil to others.  Encourage others.  You never have nothing to offer.  And if you need more oil yourself, ask the Lord and He will pour out His Spirit and fill you with more so that you can pour out into other vessels. It is the Lord’s desire to “add oil” to all His beloved.

Please Talk About This

“Mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you.”  Jude 1:2

Father in Heaven, Lord, we ask for You to multiply the mercy, peace and love of Deeper Still.  We ask for you to expand Deeper Still.  We ask for You to multiply healing of those wounded from abortion to across the nation and the world.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Sobs interrupted by gasps of air filled the car. 

We had just left a fundraising event for a local crisis pregnancy center.  The guest speaker was Pam Tebow.  The crowd listened intently as she shared her powerful testimony.  The doctors had encouraged her to abort her son due to health reasons.  She chose life.  As a result, Tim Tebow was born.  Tim Tebow is the famous football player once known for writing scripture under his eyes and his bold kneel for Christ. 

I left the event broken and desperate.  Sobbing all the way home in the car, I thought about the girl I had aborted that never had a chance to breathe her first breath of air.  That night I wondered the “what ifs” and the “what ifs” broke me. 

God had been leading me on a journey of healing my abortion wounded heart for the past 20 years and I have to admit, up until that night I thought I was fine.  I didn’t see the need to go any deeper.  I thought, “I’m good right where I am.”

However, that night my heart whispered more.  God spoke to me during the event and said, “It is time.  It is time to go deeper.”

Three weeks after that event, He led me to the Deeper Still ministry through a friend and I attended the Deeper Still Ministry training two months later.  God led me deeper and drastically changed my life.

A friend recently told me she was hesitant to share her abortion story at her Bible study group because she was concerned there were women there who were post-abortive and that it may cause them pain to hear the topic of abortion.  Our churches remain silent on the issue of abortion for many reasons, but I believe this is also one of the reasons pastors tend to shrink back from this topic.

Can I just say something about this reason for not talking about abortion?  We need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit when sharing about any topic, but perhaps hushing is hindering the Holy Spirit from doing a much needed work in people who need to hear the hard stuff.  God uses the hard to stir up in us a discontentment for the status quo and open our eyes to our need for Him to heal.  It is easy to ignore the pain when it has been numbed and dormant.

For true healing to occur, a person has to realize their need for a Doctor.  The pain surfacing awakens our need.  Then as Christine Caine has said, "We must embrace the pain of recovery."

In any surgery, there is pain involved.  We can ignore the issues and pretend they aren't there and deceive ourselves into believing they will just go away or we can let the Surgeon do His surgery and embrace the pain of recovery.  After the surgery and recovery are over, we can be healthy and whole!  But, we have to know we need surgery and be willing to undergo the hard in order to be healed.

When churches, pastors and leaders decide to not talk about abortion because it might "upset someone" or because "It is a sensative issue", they are denying that there is an infection in the body of Christ.  If Pam Tebow wouldn't have talked about abortion that night, I wouldn't have seen my need for deeper healing.  It is only when we are faced with our pain, that we realize how much we need the Surgeon.

The pain of recovery is temporal.  The pain of denial is infinite.

If you are a church pastor or leader, please talk about this issue.  Please let your people know there is healing and freedom.  In doing so, you are multiplying the healing of His wounded.  God is a God of mercy, peace and love.

God is multiplying His mercy, peace and love.  Thank you for joining us in prayer as He multiplies His Kingdom.

Shift in the Atmosphere

“Why do the nations rage, and the people plot a vain thing?  The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord and against His Anointed saying, ‘Let us break Their bonds in pieces and cast away their cords from us.’  He who sits in the heavens shall laugh; the Lord shall hold them in derision.  Then He shall speak to them in His wrath, and distress them in His deep displeasure.”  Psalms 2:1-6

Oh Lord, You see the vain plotting of those in the world who do not understand You.  Father, they are deceived and do not know what they do.  At one time, we may have even joined in their depraved chorus.  Lord, open the eyes of those cloaked in deception.  Father, may they see the truth to avoid Your judgement. May their words be turned from bringing death to speaking life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I recently read an article in a popular teen magazine that brought tears.  Not tears of joy or even sadness, but tears of pain.  My heart ached for the one who wrote the article and for those who would join in applauding her exposé. 

In the article, the writer gave advice to friends of teens who are about to have an abortion or just had an abortion.  Her ideas for comfort included a variety of superficial gifts that boasted to aid the physical ailments after her “procedure.”  What this author disturbingly missed and what so many in the world fail to accept is that no amount of physical effort can comfort the pain of the heart ripped in pieces from this “surgical procedure.”  As women, we were called to bring forth life, not destroy it.  Everything about abortion goes against nature.  It goes against our natural instinct to protect and nurture the life inside our womb.  However, pro-abortion groups constantly insist there are no emotional, mental or spiritual ramifications for abortion—only a medical procedure. 

In fact these groups would have us believe that not only is it no big deal, it is also the new normal.  The depravity astounds and defies sanity.  I wrote a post on how one in three or four women in our churches have had an abortion.  My reason for this post was to bring awareness that there are 1 in 3 or 4 women in our churches who have abortion-wounded hearts and need healing.  About a month ago, I read an article from a pro-abortion group that also brought up this statistic but not for the purpose of bringing awareness of healing.  Rather the goal was to show that abortion is normal.  The very thought makes this heart cringe in pain.  To think of destroying the life of the unborn as normal is barbaric and should not be considered a viable viewpoint.   

However, there is hope.  In the past month, legislation in the house and acts by our new President have proven to be consistently for life.  There has been a shift in the atmosphere and where there is a shift, there is bound to be turbulence.  We can expect to see more pro-abortion groups and those who support them to come out speaking in support of abortion. It is important to pray for these people.  Pray for the Lord to open their eyes and hearts to His truth.  Pray they see the hurt caused by abortion --as an unborn life taken and the mother and father hearts devastated.   Pray for life to continue to win and for the hope of light overcoming the darkness to spread from this shining city on a hill to the vast domains of the earth. 

As later on in Psalm 2 it says, “Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations for Your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for Your possession.”  Amen. 

Willows by the Watercourses {Repost}

“I will pour water on him who is thirsty, and floods on the dry ground; I will pour My Spirit on your descendants, and My blessing on your offspring; They will spring up among the grass like willows by the watercourses.”  Isaiah 44:3-4

Father, we ask for you to pour Your waters onto those who are thirsty and flood the dry ground of those with abortion wounded hearts.  Father, as You know, the Deeper Still Ministry is needed beyond our borders, in other states and nations.  Father, we ask for You to pour out Your Spirit on the chapters that are emerging and bless the offspring from Deeper Still.  Father, we pray for the chapters to spring up like willows by the watercourses, fully nourished and fruitful.  In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

New chapters of Deeper Still are in the birthing process and many more haven’t been conceived yet.  God knows when and where these chapters will spring up.  As these new chapters are being planted, they will need to be nurtured and watered with the Spirit of the Living God. 

In verse 3 above, God says He will pour water on Him who is thirsty and floods on the dry ground.  Water and floods are often used in Scripture to depict abundant blessings and are also used to denote the influence of the Holy Spirit (Bible Hub-Barnes Commentary). 

God is saying that He will pour out His Holy Spirit on those who are thirsty and bless them abundantly! Amen!

In verse 4, the He says, “They will spring up among the grass like willows by the watercourses.”

Willow trees in our western culture symbolize grief, such as in the weeping willow.  However, in the places where the willow originated (China), it symbolizes vitality and growth.  This symbolism comes from its ability to reproduce easily from cut branches. 

Interestingly enough, I found 5 more facts about willow trees that I thought mirrored perfectly the heart of Deeper Still as it is beginning new chapters. 

       1.  Willow trees not only sprout easily, they are fast growers. 

       2.   Willows have medicinal properties that alleviate pain and bring healing.

3     3.  Willows are used to build.

       4.  Willows need to have the proper soil and need an abundance of water (Holy Spirit).

       5.   Willows help prevent erosion. 

As Deeper Still grows and becomes all God has for it to be, may the new chapters grow in vitality, may the pain of the past be shed as hearts are healed, may the ruins of many desolations be rebuilt and restored, may the roots be ever in the right soil and watered abundantly, and may Deeper Still help prevent the erosion of our culture, our nation, and the world.  Amen!  

Out on the Rock {A Testimony from the Chinese Retreat}

“Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.  Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.” Psalms 51: 14-15

Oh Lord, how we but praise You!  We sing Your praise for delivering from the guilt of bloodshed.  Father, we ask for more of your people to be delivered throughout all the nations, for more on this earth to declare Your praise!  How we praise Your Holy Name for the mighty and great works You have done!  Amen.

The morning air whispered breaths of a new day as I gazed over the mountain tops from Eagle Rock’s magnificent view.  The clouds were laying as pillows on a bed of mountains for miles upon miles.  As I sat clenching my coffee in both hands, Bible in lap, taking in the picture of breathtaking beauty, a faint voice filled the once silent scene.  It was a lovely sound, one that mirrored the winsomeness surrounding it.  The sound led me to see a most beautiful sight.  Out on the rock at Eagle Rock was one of our participants from the Chinese retreat.  She was adorned in all white.  Her shirt flowed in the wind and her hands were lifted as she swayed back and forth rhythmically matching the melody on her lips.  What an incredible picture of God’s grace, healing and freedom! This woman who had been in tremendous bondage and hindered in worship was now free and her lips could not help but praise her King!  

It is a vision I shall never forget, our Chinese friend out on the high rock overlooking the mountains singing praises to our Lord.  The Lord had brought his beloved daughter 20,000 miles to set her free.  Her heart could only praise Him!  

After the retreat ended that Sunday, she continued to praise Him.  For hours, she sang and sang and sang.  It was the most angelic sound in the world to our ears.

Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed.  

This is her story.  This is her song.  Praising her Savior all the day long.  

In a Loveless Nation

“And the love of the great body of people will grow cold because of the multiplied lawlessness and iniquity.”  Matthew 24:12

Father, we lift our nation up to you.  Father, we ask for you to forgive us for our iniquities as a nation.  Lord, we have blasphemed Your mighty name.  We have turned our backs on our statues and mocked those who stood for truth.  We have forced You out of our public schools and institutions in the name of equality and separation of church and state.  We need You in our nation again.  We need Your love to come in and flood our hearts.  We need Your eyes to see the depravity in this world.  For what we are too blind to see we will inevitably run into.  Lord, may our love not grow cold.  Fill us.  In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Hallerin Hilton Hill, a popular radio personality, spoke at my church last Sunday as a guest speaker.  He shared his heart and love for this nation and encouraged us during this time in which our nation has endured several sad occurrences recently with tragic loss of life.  One statement he shared was his father’s advice to him as his father was in his final days on earth.  He said this:

“Remember the answer to everything is love.”

In our nation, we are in a crisis of loveless-ness.  We are in a crisis of disrespect and disregard for human life.  We have forgotten the commandments Jesus gave when on the earth: 

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. 

Two commands.  That’s it.   All the others hang in the balance of these two.  A friend of mine, who is also a very gifted and anointed worship leader wrote these words that beautifully illustrates this point: 

“If we see ourselves as unworthy of love, we see others as unworthy of love also.  But if we see that He is crazy for us, we will love ourselves as well, and in return love others with the same crazy, extravagant, gracious love.  I believe America is broken and hurting, and in search of her true identity…If we would fix our eyes back on Jesus, we would learn how to love ourselves and how to love others, and in doing so would end this nasty epidemic of hate that seems to be rooted so deep in this land. May authentic love be rooted once again in this country and in the Church, but most of all may it start with me.”  -Ashlynn Bolding

Amen and amen. 

I pray we would not get calloused as a nation to the terror and fear that has happened recently.  This is not the norm in our nation, nor should it be the accepted as commonplace anywhere.  Having disregard for human life should never be the norm. 

Devaluing human life cannot and should not be ignored.   We have all been created in the image of God, no matter the age, color, ethnicity, religion, background, education or socioeconomic status.  We are His image bearers, and as such, we are violently hated by the enemy of this world.  This enemy has one mission, and that is to kill, steal and destroy.

 

We have one mission given to us by our Creator, and that is to love, all people.   May we never become indifferent to human lives lost no matter the cause or circumstance and may our love never grow cold.  

Please Talk about this Topic

“Mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you.”  Jude 1:2

Father in Heaven, Lord, we ask for You to multiply the mercy, peace and love of Deeper Still.  We ask for you to expand Deeper Still.  We ask for You to multiply healing of those wounded from abortion to across the nation and the world.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Sobs interrupted by gasps of breath filled the car. 

We had just left a fundraising event for a local crisis pregnancy center.  The guest speaker was Pam Tebow.  The crowd listened intently as she shared her powerful testimony.  The doctors had encouraged her to abort her son due to health reasons.  She chose life.  As a result, Tim Tebow was born.  Tim Tebow is the famous football player once known for writing scripture under his eyes and his bold kneel for Christ. 

I left the event broken and desperate.  Sobbing all the way home in the car, I thought about the girl I had aborted that never had a chance to breathe her first breath of air.  That night I wondered the “what ifs” and the “what ifs” broke me. 

God had been leading me on a journey of healing my abortion wounded heart for the past 20 years and I have to admit, up until that night I thought I was fine.  I didn’t see the need to go any deeper.  I thought, “I’m good right where I am.”

However, that night my heart whispered more.  God spoke to me during the event and said, “It is time.  It is time to go deeper.”

Three weeks after that event, He led me to the Deeper Still ministry through a friend and I attended the Deeper Still Ministry training two months later.  God led me deeper and drastically changed my life.

A friend recently told me she was hesitant to share her abortion story at her Bible study group because she was concerned there were women there who were post-abortive and that it may cause them pain to hear the topic of abortion.  Our churches remain silent on the issue of abortion for many reasons, but I believe this is also one of the reasons pastors tend to shrink back from this topic.

Can I just say something about this reason for not talking about abortion?  We need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit when sharing about any topic, but perhaps hushing is hindering the Holy Spirit from doing a much needed work in people who need to hear the hard stuff.  God uses the hard to stir up in us a discontentment for the status quo and open our eyes to our need for Him to heal.  It is easy to ignore the pain when it has been numbed and dormant.

For true healing to occur, a person has to realize their need for a Doctor.  The pain surfacing awakens our need.  Then as Christine Caine has said, "We must embrace the pain of recovery."

In any surgery, there is pain involved.  We can ignore the issues and pretend they aren't there and deceive ourselves into believing they will just go away or we can let the Surgeon do His surgery and embrace the pain of recovery.  After the surgery and recovery are over, we can be healthy and whole!  But, we have to know we need surgery and be willing to undergo the hard in order to be healed.

When churches, pastors and leaders decide to not talk about abortion because it might "upset someone" or because "It is a sensative issue", they are denying that there is an infection in the body of Christ.  If Pam Tebow wouldn't have talked about abortion that night, I wouldn't have seen my need for deeper healing.  It is only when we are faced with our pain, that we realize how much we need the Surgeon.

The pain of recovery is temporal.  The pain of denial is infinite.

If you are a church pastor or leader, please talk about this issue.  Please let your people know there is healing and freedom.  In doing so, you are multiplying the healing of His wounded.  God is a God of mercy, peace and love.  

God is multiplying His mercy, peace and love.  Thank you for joining us in prayer as He multiplies His Kingdom.

Is Everyone Called to Share Their Testimony

"When your son asks you in time to come, saying, 'What is the meaning of the testimonies, the statutes, and the judgements which the Lord our God has commanded you?' Then you will say to your son; 'We were slaves of Pharoah in Egypt, and the Lord brought us up out of Egypt with a mighty hand.'" Deuteronomy 6:20-21

Father, I pray for those who have been healed and set free to find courage and find their voice to share how they were once slaves but now are free, to tell others of your forgiveness and grace and help others find freedom as well.  Lord, I pray they would share for the generations that follow to know the truth.  In Jesus' Name amen.

There was a time when if you had asked me if I thought everyone was called to share their story, I would have said no.  In fact, I did tell someone exactly that answer.

In 2008, I shared my testimony of healing from my abortion at my home church.  Afterwards, a friend came up to me timidly and confided in me that she too was post-abortive. With fear in her eyes, she asked me if I thought she had to share her story.  I told her I didn't think everyone was called to share their story.  Now, I hold a different view.

Will everyone be called to speak in front of a church or to a large group of people?  Perhaps not.  However, there will come a time, I believe, when God asks you to give testimony to the healing you have received in order to help someone else become free.  See, when God heals, it is not only for you.  Yes, it is most definitely for you, but it is also His desire for you to show others the path to freedom in Him.The enemy would like nothing more than for God's daughters and sons to remain silent.

I completely understand not wanting to share.  It is hard to share the darkest and most difficult times of our lives.  However, if you will oblige me, can I ask you a question?  Why?  What is your reason for keeping your healing to yourself?  Did God tell you to?  Has the Holy Spirit not prompted you to share?  That could very well be the case.  God has perfect timing.  But, if the reason is rooted in fear--fear of man--fear of what will people think, then I think you need to really seek the Lord and follow Him in whatever He leads you to do.  Fear is never a good reason to keep silent.  In fact, if you discover it is fear holding your tongue, I would strongly encourage you to find a safe friend and share what the Lord has done to free you!

One thing I know--"We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony."  If we aren't free to share, we need to share to be free!

In the movie, "The Heart of the Sea", the story of Moby Dick that came out recently, there was a line that brought my spirit to attention when it hit my ears:

"The devil loves unspoken secrets.  Especially those that fester in a man's soul."

The enemy would love nothing more than for God's daughters and sons to remain silent.

People need to hear our stories.  Those considering abortion need to hear the truth.  Those still suffering  in silent shame need to know there is healing, freedom and hope.

The next generation needs to hear our stories.  Our children need to hear of the glory of God.  If we remain silent, our stories die and glory fades.  Silence risks breeding the repetition of. slavery.

In the verse above, we are asked a question, "What is the meaning of the testimonies?"  Or in my words, "Why do we share our stories?"

The answer is simple and found in the following verse.  We share because:

Once we were slaves, but now we are free!  The Lord has brought us out with a might hand!!

Let's shout it from the mountain tops!

Do You Get Tired of Going Deeper

"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."  Phillipian 1:6

Father, we thank You for the promise to complete the good work that You have begun in each of us individually and that You are completing the good work You began through Deeper Still.  We ask for Your will to be done. Lord, empty us of ourselves.  In Jesus' name, Amen. 

The Christmas tree lights glimmered with the hope of the season.  Kid's smiles and chuckles of joy drenched the atmosphere like dew-covered trees in the dawn of day. Yet, even as I sat surrounded by celebration, my heart weighed heavy with what was missing rather than being immersed in the joy of the present.

My husband handed me a gift.  A touch of hope grabbed me as I imagined its contents.  Perhaps a necklace, a diamond bracelet, or a new sparkling watch? Eagerly, I tore open the package.  As the paper fell in torn confetti to the floor, my prize was revealed...books.  Two Bible study books.

My husband explained, "I thought we could do the books together, to work on ourselves."  Bless his heart. His motive was pure and it was a very thoughtful and sweet gift.  He knew how much I loved Bible studies and I was ALWAYS working on myself, so seemingly, this would have been the perfect gift...except.  Except, that Christmas morning, something inside of me snapped, and I said, "I'm so tired of working on myself!  Will I ever be done?!"  (My sweet and loving husband ended up taking the books back.)

That Christmas morning was about 7 years ago.

About one week ago,  I enthusiastically explained to a friend how the Lord had revealed some things to me and was continuing to take me deeper in healing. She asked me with thought and care,  "Do you ever get tired of going deeper? Don't you ever just want to be done?"

At that moment, I thought how there was a time not too many Christmas' ago when I was tired and did just want to be DONE.  However, as I responded, I joyfully was able to answer, "No, I actually love to go deeper now, and I have realized that there is always deeper and I won't ever be done until Jesus comes back or until I reach heaven. "  And, I meant every word.  I really do love going deeper with the Lord.

The difference?  I believe the difference is found in Phil 1:6.  "He who has began a good work in you will complete it."

Before, I was trying in my own efforts to fix myself. I use to work like it was up to me, and it was exhausting.  Now, I just let God be God and He is the One doing the work.  Yes, I have to cooperate, but I know it isn't all up to me.  And that my friends, is freeing and beautiful.

When Jesus is doing the work, it isn't toilsome, its treasure-some.  Going deeper is better than diamonds or any earthly present.  It is truly a priceless gift from our Husband, Jesus, with each layer unwrapped revealing more and more of His love.   It is not a thing to be avoided, but a gift of His never-ending love.

Preventive Measures

"But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.  Then He said to His disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.  Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborer into His harvest.'" Matthew 9:36-38

Lord, we ask for the expansion of Deeper Still. Father, will you send forth the laborers into the field for Your harvest.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.

I saw across the table from a friend explaining the ministry of Deeper Still.  She had never heard my story and tears welled up in her eyes as she listened intently realizing I had an abortion at age 19.

She immediately loved the ministry of Deeper Still and healing the abortion-wounded.  Being pro-life, she asked in an affirming and inquiring way, "Does this ministry do anything preventative about abortion?"

Pausing for just a moment, I directed her to one of our ministry partners, a local pro-life crisis pregnancy center, but then the Holy Spirit interrupted and I began to explain how this ministry is preventative.

"Society spews the lies that abortion is no big deal, it is just a procedure, it is just a blob of tissue, it is my body and I can do whatever I want with no consequences.  When these post- abortive men and women are truly free, they become an army of voices rising up for truth. And that is how Deeper Still is a preventative ministry."

We need women and men free to be a voice of truth, so they can then, in turn, go into the fields and become co-laborers for the harvest in the Kingdom of God.  We need this ministry in all states throughout the US and into the world for truth to arise and darkness to be dispelled.  Thank you praying and continuing to pray for the message of truth to spread throughout the globe.

God Moves Stones

“Very early in the morning, on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb when the sun had risen.  And they said among themselves, ‘Who will roll away the stone from the door of the tomb for us?’” Mark 16:3

Father, I pray for the Deeper Still team and participants to have faith like Mary and Mary.  I pray they would just go in faith trusting you to roll away the heavy stones.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

At the Deeper Still Team Meeting last week, Karen Ellison taught from this scripture in Mark 16. 

Jesus had been in the tomb three days.  Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, set out early in the morning heading toward the tomb to anoint Jesus’ body with spices.  On the way, they were talking among themselves and wondered, “Oh yeah, there is this big boulder in the way, I wonder how we are going to roll it away.”

What I love is that they kept going. They had everything they needed and they went on in faith that somehow the stone would be rolled away. 

Participants come to the Deeper Still retreats, not with their spices, but with their suitcases, clothes, makeup, and other things they need for the weekend.  Physically prepared perhaps, but one thing they may not know is how the stone will be rolled away.  

 

“But when they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away—for it was very large.” (V. 4)

The stone was very large.  Most likely the stone was too heavy for the ladies to move on their own.  It took faith for them to press on to their destination. 

The abortion-wounded participants come with a very large stone that seems too monstrous to move.  Many fear that they will come and nothing will happen.  However, God knows how to move a stone. 

It is not only the participants that must come in faith believing for God to move stones, the Deeper Still team members must also go in faith believing that no stone is too big for our God. 

Deeper Still team members come prepared, also not with spices, but in the power of prayer.   Peppered in prayer, the team members are going in faith, knowing they cannot roll away the stone on their own.  The stone is way too heavy to move.  There is only One who can move the stone.

  

Huge stones are nothing for our God.  One word from our Divine Creator and stones are smashed into pieces, hearts are changed, and captives are freed.

 

We just need to come, the participants and the team, in faith.   We go in faith even when we don’t know the how. 

And on Sunday morning, we too, like the mother of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, look up and see the stone rolled away and we are in awe—for it is always very large.  God is able to move the stone.   

Judi's Story

“But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.’”  Mark 5:33-34

Father, we give you praise that healing flows from even the hem of your garment.  Father, we pray for all the participants coming to the Deeper Still retreat, that they would come and fall before you Lord and tell you the whole truth so that they may be made well, have peace and be healed.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

March 8, 2016, Deeper Still had its annual fundraising banquet.  Four beautiful testimonies were shared by four of the participants who went through a retreat last year.

One of the participants who shared was Judi.  Last summer, Judi reached out for the hem of Jesus’ garment and the result was nothing short of miraculous.  The post today is written by beautiful and free Judi. She also shares part of her story in a short video at the end! Thank you Judi for sharing your story with us today!

 scan·dal·ous

ˈskandləs/

adjective

1.    causing general public outrage by a perceived offense against morality or law.

Today I am in a quite different place from where I started this journey.  When I walked onto the porch at the Deeper Still retreat last year, I felt like the dirtiest outcast that had ever tried to get close to Jesus.  I was reminded of that day a few weeks ago when my church started a series on scandalous grace. They started it in Mark 5.  I had heard the story of the woman with the issue of blood so many times before.  But in this season of my life, the message brought something out that I had never seen before.  Look again at verse 33:

³³ But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth.

She told Him the whole truth.  The whole story.  She spoke it out loud, even with her voice shaking.  And she was healed.

I have known my entire life that God was the God of the universe.  I have known my entire life that Jesus died on the cross at Calvary for the redemption of mankind.  I have always known in my head that I am not the ruler of my life.  This past year, I finally allowed that knowledge to get into my heart.  When I surrendered to that knowledge, He indeed became my Lord.  This past year has felt like a whirlwind of change and a roller coaster of events and has been both the hardest and the sweetest year of my life.  But that has not come easily.  It has taken a lot of prayer, even more listening for Him to tell me where I am and to show me where He wants me to go.  It’s taken faith that He will be my rock now and even when it’s all said and done.  It’s taken the faith to follow Him where He calls me.  Even into scary, unknown places with people I don’t know, in order to start dropping the weight of the baggage I’ve been carrying for decades.  And I have dropped it… by the ton…

Like the woman with the issue of blood, I knew He was a healer, but the crowd was so big… 

And He healed me anyway.

Like the woman caught in adultery, I knew I was guilty and the crowd was so angry…

And He forgave me anyway.

Like Zacchaeus, the crowd was just too much over my head…

 And He dined with me anyway. 

And like the second thief on the cross, I deserved death for what I had done in my life…

 And He paid the cost for me anyway.

I am free.  I am not perfect and have no ability or desire to be.  But I serve a mighty God who has equipped me.  I have the full armor of God to protect me daily.  I have been set free from the lies of the enemy.  I am the daughter of the One True King and am an heir with Christ!  If you are in Christ, I hope you know that you are, too!

Voice by voice, story by story, we really can be victorious in Christ. Scripture reminds us in Revelation that we have conquered him (satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony.  Mine was an ugly story to tell.  Mine is a story some people want me to keep to myself.  But it’s now His story and He will be glorified by it.  This is my story….

https://vimeo.com/album/3688033/video/159255229

  

To Karen and the team members, I can’t even begin to say thank you enough for being the examples of freedom I needed to head safely in His direction with my own life.  I have found my voice.  I will not stop proclaiming the freedom in Christ that I have found.  I will praise Him until he calls me home!

A Life of Significance

“And he who reaps receives wages, and gathers fruit for eternal life, that both he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together.” John 4:36

Lord, we know you are in all things.  Father, I pray for every member of the Deeper Still team to see their role as significant in all you are doing whether big or small or in the sowing or reaping.  May your eternal Kingdom will and work be done on earth as it is in heaven. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

What marks a person’s life at significant?  Is it a number of lives touched by a person? Is it speaking to multitudes in large ballrooms or coliseums?  If someone reaches 1,000 for the Lord, surely that person is counted as significant, right?  Or is it?  Perhaps what we would view as seemingly smaller actually measures larger on the Kingdom scale. 

The Lord has been stirring in me the significance of one.  There was a widow women who gave all she had…2 pennies (Luke 21:3). Small and seemingly insignificant, but huge in the eyes of the Lord.  Jesus Himself was very much into doing the small things.  He did speak to the multitudes at times, but most the stories we find in the gospels are about the one on one ministry He did.

The Samaritan women Jesus met one on one at the well.

  

The man healed at the pool of Bethesda.  

The adulteress thrown to Him in the sand. 

The man born blind.  

Raising Lazarus from the dead.

  

One on one conversations with His disciples.

  

And so many more.

  

The world likes to place a number on success.  Number of followers.  Number of likes.  Number of retweets.  And there is nothing bad or wrong necessarily in this, but it isn’t an accurate measurement.  Significance can’t be measured by social media or status updates.  Significance is based on inheritance—Kingdom inheritance.  You are a divine son or daughter of the Most High and that status and “like” by the One alone qualifies you as significant.   

People we may never meet have influenced us in ways we may never know this side of eternity.  We never met them yet, their life was significant.  Significant to God.  Significant to His Kingdom.  Significant to eternity. 

This past week, a friend of Deeper Still and former Deeper Still Team Member went to be with the Lord.  Her name is Derinda.  I never knew her nor had the privilege of meeting her.  But, one thing I do know is that the significance of her life is not able to be measured here on earth.  Her significance in the Kingdom is known to God and today she is rejoicing with Jesus and all those loved ones who have gone before her.

(Derinda is the one in the orange next to another team member, Sheila, at Eagle Rock.) 

From her picture, I can see Derinda was a beautiful person on the outside and from what I have heard from others and what I know of this team, she had a huge heart for God and setting the captives free.  One on one impact for Christ is never a small thing in the scale of Kingdom significance.   As I mentioned, I never met Derinda, but I can bet there is a dance party going on in the heavenlies unlike anything we have witnessed.  We honor your life Derinda and all you were and did in the Kingdom. Derinda, your life was significant. 

Significance.  It isn’t something that can be measured.  There are no earthly tools for this task.  All we can do is follow the Holy Spirit and live each day given to us in obedience.  Talk to those God puts in our paths.  Go out of our way to talk to those God lays on our hearts.  Significance is in the small.  It is in the mundane.  It is sowing.  It is reaping.  It is being led.  It is following.  It is in being a child of the Most High.  You, my friends, are significant. 

God's Not Afraid of the Dark

“If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. “ Psalm 139:8

Lord, I pray the abortion wounded and participants of Deeper Still would receive this truth that you are with them and have never left.  And I pray those considering abortion this day to have a revelation of your presence and that you are a very present help in time of trouble.  Lord, you alone can rescue. We ask you to rescue.   Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

Abortion is dark.   There is nothing about abortion that brings life and light.  Abortion brings death and darkness.  The Lord is light in the darkness.  God has never been afraid of the dark.  Jesus singlehandedly took on the greatest darkness and evil when He chose to take all our sin upon Himself, give His life for us, and go into the depths of hell to conquer sin and death for all eternity. 

Jesus wasn’t afraid to take death head on nearly 2000 years ago and He persists in pushing back the darkness.  The enemy laughed and thought he won the day Jesus hung on the cross.  However, he didn’t know the end of the story.  From the moment Jesus cried “It is finished”, the enemy’s laughter ceased.  In that moment, he was finished, death was defeated and the curse of sin conquered.

Every time the doors of an abortion clinic are opened, the enemy laughs, thinking he has won a battle.  He doesn’t realize there is more to the story. 

The Lord gave me a picture the other night during a worship service. ..

The room was dark and there was a shadow on a table.  It was me.  It was the day I had my abortion.  There were screams.  My mind was foggy and I wanted to escape.  I wanted to be rescued, but still I didn’t move.  It is all as if it was a bad nightmare from which I can never awake.  Then I saw the Lord.  He was there.  He was there with me that day in my hell.  Beside the cold sterile metal table, He knelt.  He cried.  He prayed. 

Perhaps you may not believe He was there with me that day.   “If I make my bed in hell, behold, you are there.” Ps 139: 8.  He was there.

What was he praying?  I believe He was praying for the end of my story.  See, the enemy isn’t able to see the end of the story, but the Lord can.  He knows the end of the story.

I wouldn’t allow the Lord to rescue me that day.  The hardness of my heart wouldn’t allow the Lord to penetrate at that time.  However, the Lord knew there would be a day when He would have my heart once more and I would be truly and fully His again.  He knew there would be a day when victory would be my shout and cry and the enemy’s laughter would cease.  The Lord knew what the enemy meant for evil, He would use for good, for the advancement of His Kingdom. 

The same is true for you.  The Lord was with you in your darkness, praying for you, loving you.  He knows the end of your story.

No, the Lord is not afraid of the dark.  He knows the end of the story and the victory is His.