Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Why We Do What We Do

Dear Readers, thank you for your continued prayers and support of the Deeper Still Ministry. We have moved the blog site to
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The devotionals will continue to be posted on this site for a couple of weeks to be sure you can find us on our new site.  We look forward to having you follow us on our new site! Also, please follow Deeper Still on Facebook and Instagram!  Thank you!  

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”  Galations 6:9

Father, I pray that we as a nation would not grow weary in doing good.  I pray for those with a heart for life to be bold and encouraged to continue to stand and speak for truth.  Let us stand and rise up as a mighty army of truth and light to defeat death and darkness.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

A friend and Deeper Still Chapter Leader, Laurie Haynes, wrote about an experience she had recently on her Facebook page.  I asked her if I could share it today:

“I'm really struggling today. I was working at the PRC (Pregnancy Resource Center) this morning and found out that a sweet client that I met with 3 weeks ago decided to have an abortion 2 days ago. When I did her ultrasound 3 weeks ago, that little one was 8 weeks, had a strong heartbeat and was moving around. The pictures below show what a 12 week baby looks like - the same age her baby was when it was aborted on Wednesday. I am hurting so much for her and grieving this little one. Please pray for her.”

These pictures show a baby in the womb at 12 weeks.  As is scientifically known and as we can also physically see, this is not a blob of tissue nor a group of cells, this is a fully developing baby complete with fingers and toes.
I remember the first time I saw the ultrasound of my first born son, Joseph, at 12 weeks.  The reality of how developed and alive he was in the womb flooded my heart with a mixture of joy and sorrow.  Joy at seeing him jump and move in the womb and sorrow at the reality of the choice I made to end a life at 11 weeks of age nine years earlier.  There is nothing more sobering than seeing. 

How anyone could deny these are living human beings is beyond comprehension for me.  I don’t condemn this young girl she is referring to above, I once was her.  Instead, my heart is grieved for her and for her child. 
One of the missions of Deeper Still is to advance the cause for life.  We want to see those who have been wounded by abortion set free and healed.  Yes and amen.  Deeper Still is a post-abortion healing ministry and pro-life.  Post-abortion healing ministries are in the fight for life.  Our mission is simple and our objective is clear.  Our mission:  Healing and lasting freedom for those wounded by abortion.  Objective:  To rise up an army of women and men who are free to be a voice and stand for truth, to tell the world the truth about abortion, to dispel the lies of the enemy and defuse the declaration of darkness.   If women and men are not free to speak, silence by default becomes an ally to the enemy’s tactics to steal, kill and destroy. 

I pray those in the pro-life community would embrace and advance post-abortion healing ministry and see it as a potent weapon in the arsenal of justice and truth. 

If you are pro-life and have a heart for seeing abortion defeated in this nation, there is a worship and prayer opportunity this Saturday, August 26th, in Maryville, TN at Foothills Church.  It is an all-day event, from 8am until 6pm.  You are welcome to just stay for a little while or all day if you’d like!  It is totally open to all who want to come pray.   There will also be live streaming of the event for those who live out of town but would like to stand with us in prayer for our nation and the world in seeing the captives set free and abortion end.  You can go to our Facebook page Deeper Still on Saturday to find the link to live streaming.  Will you please stand with us to pray to end abortion?  We need you.  

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Worthy of Healing

Dear Readers, thank you for your continued prayers and support of the Deeper Still Ministry. We have moved the blog site to
You can also access the blog through

The devotionals will continue to be posted on this site for a couple of weeks to be sure you can find us on our new site.  We look forward to having you follow us on our new site! Also, please follow Deeper Still on Facebook and Instagram!  Thank you!  

“Son, be of good cheer; your sins are forgiven you.” Matthew 9:2b

Father, thank you that you forgive our sins.  Thank you that you are not a God who gives retribution for our sins.  Rather you come with mercy, grace and outstretched arms ready and willing to not only forgive, but also heal and set us on the path of an abundant life full of purpose.  Father, I pray for those with abortion wounded hearts to receive your forgiveness, healing, and then they would stand and walk in the fullness of life and purpose in Your Kingdom.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
In Matthew Chapter  9, we find a man who was paralyzed.  When Jesus walked by him, He surprisingly said to the man, “Son, be of good cheer; your sins are forgiven you.”

Jesus knew the thoughts and desires of this man’s heart.  I have wondered before why Jesus didn’t first heal the man.  He was paralyzed.  Surely the man wanted to walk more than anything.  And I’ve heard sermons in the past that have stated that Jesus forgave the sins of the man to make a point to the Pharisees present.  Our God is a great multitasker, so proving a point to the Pharisees and religious leaders was probably an added benefit no doubt.  However, I believe more than anything, this man wanted to know his sins were forgiven.

Culturally, it was common in the Bible times for people to assume an illness or affliction was a consequence of a sin.  This man possibly had been carrying the burden that he must have sinned in a horrific way to be cursed with this paralyzing disease.  I can visualize this man lying on his bed day after day in agony, crying out, asking for forgiveness, tormented that he must not be worthy of forgiveness, that his sins were too great. 

Then Jesus.

Then Jesus walks by and says the words this man has been waiting perhaps years to hear—You are forgiven.  And then, Jesus said, “Arise, take up your bed, and go to your house.”

It is significant that Jesus first said His sins are forgiven.  It is possible this man needed to know His sins were forgiven in order for Him to receive the healing Jesus wanted to give him.  If Jesus would have just walked by and said, “Arise and walk,” but the man didn’t believe His sins were forgiven, his feelings of unworthiness could have hindered his healing.

We see this paradox play out regularly with those with abortion wounds.  Forgiveness and healing are not the same.  Many times men and women with abortion-wounded hearts will not feel worthy of healing because they do not truly believe they are forgiven.  Negative situations in life or fear of retribution hang overhead like a cloud in a Peanut cartoon.  Or a person with an abortion wound may self-sabotage any blessings due to not truly believing they deserve life more abundantly.

But Jesus walks by and says, “Be of good cheer; your sins are forgiven you.”  But that’s not all.  Like a trusty infomercial, He says, “Wait, there’s more!”  Not only are your sins forgiven you, but also You can now walk!  He says, “Arise, take up your bed and go.”  

He has a good plan to for you.  He has a purpose for you to pursue. 

“God doesn’t just free you from something, but also to something.” –Karen Ellison

This kind of love is beyond compare and comprehension. His mercy and grace are unmeasurable.  He has a good plan for you.  Receive forgiveness, then arise, stand and walk in the fullness of all God has for you.  

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

When Jesus Shows Up

“You shall fear the Lord your God; you shall serve Him, and to Him you shall hold fast, and take oaths in his name.  He is your praise, and He is your God who has done for you these great and awesome things which your eyes have seen.” Deuteronomy 10:20-21

Father, again we give You all praise, glory and honor due Your Name! We may never fully understand the vastness of Your holiness, power and authority.  We give you honor and acknowledge that we are just small vessels, and we are humbled that You would give us the opportunity to partner with you in advancing Your Kingdom and setting Your people free.  Your power and might are incomprehensible and we are in awe of Your majesty.  We praise You for all You are and all You do!  We love you!  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Deeper Still Summer Retreat 2017 in Knoxville, Tennessee, will be remembered as one epic retreat.  It was off the charts amazing as the Lord showed up and showed off big time in changing the hearts and lives of those attending.
It is difficult to express in words the power and glory of the Lord that was experienced by the team members and the participants who attended that weekend.  One of our team members, Alaina Wingo, wrote of her experience: 

“I never was able to understand what it meant to fear the LORD until one day He gave me an image which helped me understand a bit more. I saw a picture of myself in a small boat in the middle of an ocean. The sea was placid with no land in sight. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a massive whale breached the water with his tail towering next to me. Though his tail alone was so much bigger than the boat, there was no damage to me or the boat.  I was filled with AWE and FEAR. To witness such an amazing sight was humbling and incredible and could have brought me to tears.  A feeling of terror approached me while marveling at the power and size of this great beast.

Our GOD out scales any whale, incomparably so. We cannot comprehend His greatness. My fear of the Lord is out of utter reverence for our POWERFUL GOD.  Just a glimpse and I am in awe. And that is how this retreat felt in some ways. There always seem to be problems before a retreat and often during. However, when Jesus shows up, all confusion falls away and fear dissipates to its appropriate the Lord alone.

Unprecedented things happened during the retreat. And yet I feel like we haven't seen anything. There's always more. I am truly humbled that God can take a group of imperfect people looking to serve and be healed and do such big things. We built the altar and He lit it on fire."

~Alaina Wingo, Deeper Still Team Member, Knoxville, TN

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

The Mission is Too Great

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”  Ephesians 4:1-3

Father, as Deeper Still grows, we ask for unity in the teams.  We ask for the leaders of the teams and the team members to understand the power of unity and understand the importance of fighting to keep the unity of the Spirit.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Unity doesn’t just happen.  If it did, Paul wouldn’t have had to write Ephesians 4:1-3.  When he says, “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace“, there is an understanding that acquiring and maintaining unity must be intentional. 

How many churches have split over minute issues?  How many divisions have there been in ministry over mishaps?  The power of unity is to be sought for and fought for. 

Earlier this year, I had a misunderstanding with a friend who served with me in another ministry and offense entered.  It wasn’t my intention to offend, but offense does not care if it was invited, it will just come and try to crash any Kingdom party. 

Knowing I had offended my friend, I asked for her forgiveness.  She admitted she had been offended and forgave me easily.  The Lord had already begun speaking to her about the offense and revealed to her I did not intend harm.  Prayer had been the catalyst to all this misunderstanding being resolved and all was well.  We were able to easily move forward in serving together with unity.  It was a beautiful resolution and we both grew in the process. 

Later on, another friend we served with in this ministry asked me about the situation and how we were able to resolve it so quickly and move forward.  I answered her, “The mission is too great.  The mission is greater than any small differences or misunderstandings.  We cannot afford to be offended and lose unity when there is a mission as great as the Kingdom of God.”  There were ladies who needed to be loved on.  They needed to hear about freedom in Christ.  Disunity would have hindered the work of the Lord and that just wasn’t acceptable. 

The mission is too great. 

What if we applied this mantra to other areas of our lives?  Our marriages?  Relationships with our children? Relationships with others in our church family?  The power of unity is vital.  There is no limit to what the Lord will do with a team that is unified.  Friends, the mission is too great.  Let’s endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

When Holy Spirit Power is the Only Option

“If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.”  John 14:14

Father, we can’t thank you enough for your faithfulness!  Our hearts sing your praises all day long.  Your love never fails and great it your faithfulness.  Thank you for answering our every prayer with, “yes, you get it!”  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The power went out.  There was no storm, no rain, and no wind.  We thought maybe a fuse was blown as the Deeper Still team bustled about preparing for the summer retreat the next day. Then a team member urgently informed us that a huge tree had just fallen a few feet from the driveway of where the retreat would be held.  This tree had taken down the power lines, which hung dangerously over the cul-de-sac blocking entrance to the driveway. 

A few of the team members went up to assess the damage and to determine if any recourse was needed.   After a brief assessment, only one determination could be made…the power must come back on.  The retreat was the next day.  It was 90 degrees outside.  There wasn’t time for a Plan B. The only option…the Holy Spirit. 

The electrical power had gone out, but the power of the Holy Spirit was very present and in abundance.  As a team, we decided to trust in His power even when we didn’t have natural power. 
In situations like this, there is always a choice.  Panic can easily set in and cause chaos.  It is difficult for panic and power to coexist.  If we choose to depend on the Holy Spirit, He will diffuse panic as we trust in His power. Thankfully that day, we chose Him. 

We gathered around in the warming living room and prayed and sang worship songs to our loving Father.  We lifted up our voices in praise and thanksgiving as we called on our God.  He is always faithful.  And He answered quickly. Within about 30 minutes of praying, there was a power company truck outside whacking away at the tree and restoring the power lines to their integrity.

The Lord went on to continue to amaze us all weekend with one glorious event to another.  One participant accepted Christ for the first time, two others rededicated their lives.  There were two baptisms, a first for Deeper Still!  The Lord amazed us and did above and beyond anything we could ask, think or imagine!  All ten ladies were set free and lives were transformed for His glory!  His power continually amazes me.  All glory goes to Him, the One with the only true power—We give You all praise, glory and honor Holy Spirit! 

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Now I Have a Secret to Keep

“But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.”  1 John 1:7

Father, I pray for those coming to a retreat or those who need a retreat to discover the truth of living in the light.  Lord, help them to come and step into the light of Your presence knowing you are faithful to cover them in your grace and mercy.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I have now told all three of my children about my abortion.  At some point, I may write about those experiences.  But for now, I will say each of them received the news with showers of grace and love.  Last week is when I told the last of my children about my abortion.  While we were talking, he said, “Great (sarcastically), does this mean I now have a secret to keep?” 

Thankful he revealed this thought in his little heart, I immediately refuted his fear.

 “No, my son.  I don’t want you to have a secret to keep.  In fact, this isn’t a secret at all.  My mission is to tell my story so others can make a better choice than I made or find healing and hope if they had also had an abortion.  This isn’t a secret.   That being said, you probably don’t need to go tell all your friends right now about it, but if the Holy Spirit leads you to share it, I want you to know you have freedom to share.”

A sigh of relief came over him knowing he didn’t have a secret to keep.  In the words of Aunt Mae from the movie The Amazing Spiderman, “Secrets have a cost.  They are not for free.” 
Secrets are exhausting, draining and down-right depressing.  I would never want to burden my son with a secret. 

Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to be burdened with secrets either.  He wants us to come to Him and share every little and big thing with Him.  And He wants to free us so we can have true fellowship with others unhindered by the fear of our secrets being discovered.  Living in the light of truth is a beautiful way to live—knowing we are forgiven and loved and cleansed by the blood of Jesus from all sin.  

Thursday, July 6, 2017

The Deep Wound of Rape

“He reveals deep and hidden things, he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.”  Dan 2:22

Father, I pray for those coming to the retreat this weekend and next weekend to allow you to reveal the deep and hidden things so that pain can turn into purpose and hurts can be surfaced for healing.  We know it is not your desire for us to remain numb to the pain lying dormant in the depths of our heart.  Bring those things that lie in darkness up to the surface where your light can shine and bring forth life.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

In a car ride three years ago, the Lord began to surface a need for healing that had been buried deep within my heart.  Karen Ellison (founder of Deeper Still), Carla Martin, Kay Smith (team members) and I were traveling to Illinois to serve on the team for the first Deeper Still of Central Illinois retreat.  It was exciting to be on a road trip back to my home state.  The retreat was taking place between where I grew up and where I had gone to college.  It was also only about 30 miles from where my abortion took place.  I was overwhelmed with the Lord’s goodness in allowing me to be a part of this retreat in Illinois.

We also had a plan to stop at the abortion clinic in Champaign, IL where I had the abortion to pray over the land.  It was a good plan, but God had an even better plan.

Part of my story involves a rape on my college campus.  I don’t believe I have ever written about this part of my story, but felt the Lord wanted me to share part of this today.  On the way to help serve at the first retreat in Illinois in 2014, Karen asked me how the Lord had healed me of that rape experience.  I was like a deer in headlights.  I had only recently begun to acknowledge the rape and had never really sought healing for it.  I didn’t know what to say.  Karen suggested we find the fraternity house where it happened and pray there.

While on the college campus, we found fraternity row.  All the houses looked so similar and it had been 21 years since it happened.  Not remembering which house it was, we stopped on a corner with four fraternity houses surrounding us to pray.  I bowed my head but no words would come.  Then from somewhere deep within, sobs surfaced and turned into wails as I stood bent over with violent pain flowing from the depths of my soul.  This pain had been bound up, packed away, not given any air to breathe.  Now, it was opening, this wound covered in scar tissue, never allowed to heal.  It was rising to the surface.  I thought the pain might be too much.  This pain was more than I thought I could bear.  My friends surrounded me praying, like a canopy, protecting me and shielding me as the Healer did His surgery. 

The next few times I shared this part of my story, pain and tears continued to come as the Healer continued to heal this area of my heart.   However, after sharing this part of my story a few times, it became easier and easier.  Now I don’t feel the intense pain I once felt and I’m able to talk about it. 
This is how the Lord heals us.  First He reveals an area of our hearts that needs healing.  Then, he gently removes the scar tissue so the wound is exposed to the air for healing.  He breathes life to the areas once dead and numb.  This may cause temporary pain.  But the pain is only temporary while He does the surgery.  So many people avoid the surgery in fear of the pain being surfaced.  I am thankful I didn’t avoid facing the pain of my past that day in Illinois.  If I would have said, “I don’t need to go there and pray, really, I’m ok”, I would have missed the healing the Lord had for me and that pain would still be lying dormant in my heart festering.  And I surely wouldn’t be writing this today—I would still be paralyzed and numb, unable to share this part of my story. 

Rape is a real hurt.  It is a thief that steals more than can be physically counted.  But the Lord wants to restore what was stolen and mend the areas that are broken.  I no longer consider myself a victim, but rather victorious.  If this is part of your story as well, my heart hurts for you.  I pray that you too will allow the Lord access into those wounded areas so He can do the surgery required for healing.  Reach out to friends you trust who can stand around you during the healing process, praying for you.  If needed, see a counselor.  This is only my story of healing, but the Lord heals different people in different ways. I don’t know the process He will use, but I do know He is the good Healer and the Great Physician and He wants to heal you.