When Holy Spirit Power is the Only Option

“If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.”  John 14:14

Father, we can’t thank you enough for your faithfulness!  Our hearts sing your praises all day long.  Your love never fails and great it your faithfulness.  Thank you for answering our every prayer with, “yes, you get it!”  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The power went out.  There was no storm, no rain, and no wind.  We thought maybe a fuse was blown as the Deeper Still team bustled about preparing for the summer retreat the next day. Then a team member urgently informed us that a huge tree had just fallen a few feet from the driveway of where the retreat would be held.  This tree had taken down the power lines, which hung dangerously over the cul-de-sac blocking entrance to the driveway. 

A few of the team members went up to assess the damage and to determine if any recourse was needed.   After a brief assessment, only one determination could be made…the power must come back on.  The retreat was the next day.  It was 90 degrees outside.  There wasn’t time for a Plan B. The only option…the Holy Spirit. 

The electrical power had gone out, but the power of the Holy Spirit was very present and in abundance.  As a team, we decided to trust in His power even when we didn’t have natural power. 

In situations like this, there is always a choice.  Panic can easily set in and cause chaos.  It is difficult for panic and power to coexist.  If we choose to depend on the Holy Spirit, He will diffuse panic as we trust in His power. Thankfully that day, we chose Him. 

We gathered around in the warming living room and prayed and sang worship songs to our loving Father.  We lifted up our voices in praise and thanksgiving as we called on our God.  He is always faithful.  And He answered quickly. Within about 30 minutes of praying, there was a power company truck outside whacking away at the tree and restoring the power lines to their integrity.

The Lord went on to continue to amaze us all weekend with one glorious event to another.  One participant accepted Christ for the first time, two others rededicated their lives.  There were two baptisms, a first for Deeper Still!  The Lord amazed us and did above and beyond anything we could ask, think or imagine!  All ten ladies were set free and lives were transformed for His glory!  His power continually amazes me.  All glory goes to Him, the One with the only true power—We give You all praise, glory and honor Holy Spirit! 

Now I Have a Secret to Keep

“But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.”  1 John 1:7

Father, I pray for those coming to a retreat or those who need a retreat to discover the truth of living in the light.  Lord, help them to come and step into the light of Your presence knowing you are faithful to cover them in your grace and mercy.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I have now told all three of my children about my abortion.  At some point, I may write about those experiences.  But for now, I will say each of them received the news with showers of grace and love.  Last week is when I told the last of my children about my abortion.  While we were talking, he said, “Great (sarcastically), does this mean I now have a secret to keep?” 

Thankful he revealed this thought in his little heart, I immediately refuted his fear.

 “No, my son.  I don’t want you to have a secret to keep.  In fact, this isn’t a secret at all.  My mission is to tell my story so others can make a better choice than I made or find healing and hope if they had also had an abortion.  This isn’t a secret.   That being said, you probably don’t need to go tell all your friends right now about it, but if the Holy Spirit leads you to share it, I want you to know you have freedom to share.”

A sigh of relief came over him knowing he didn’t have a secret to keep.  In the words of Aunt Mae from the movie The Amazing Spiderman, “Secrets have a cost.  They are not for free.” 

Secrets are exhausting, draining and down-right depressing.  I would never want to burden my son with a secret. 

Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to be burdened with secrets either.  He wants us to come to Him and share every little and big thing with Him.  And He wants to free us so we can have true fellowship with others unhindered by the fear of our secrets being discovered.  Living in the light of truth is a beautiful way to live—knowing we are forgiven and loved and cleansed by the blood of Jesus from all sin.  

The Deep Wound of Rape

“He reveals deep and hidden things, he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.”  Dan 2:22

Father, I pray for those coming to the retreat this weekend and next weekend to allow you to reveal the deep and hidden things so that pain can turn into purpose and hurts can be surfaced for healing.  We know it is not your desire for us to remain numb to the pain lying dormant in the depths of our heart.  Bring those things that lie in darkness up to the surface where your light can shine and bring forth life.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

In a car ride three years ago, the Lord began to surface a need for healing that had been buried deep within my heart.  Karen Ellison (founder of Deeper Still), Carla Martin, Kay Smith (team members) and I were traveling to Illinois to serve on the team for the first Deeper Still of Central Illinois retreat.  It was exciting to be on a road trip back to my home state.  The retreat was taking place between where I grew up and where I had gone to college.  It was also only about 30 miles from where my abortion took place.  I was overwhelmed with the Lord’s goodness in allowing me to be a part of this retreat in Illinois.

We also had a plan to stop at the abortion clinic in Champaign, IL where I had the abortion to pray over the land.  It was a good plan, but God had an even better plan.

Part of my story involves a rape on my college campus.  I don’t believe I have ever written about this part of my story, but felt the Lord wanted me to share part of this today.  On the way to help serve at the first retreat in Illinois in 2014, Karen asked me how the Lord had healed me of that rape experience.  I was like a deer in headlights.  I had only recently begun to acknowledge the rape and had never really sought healing for it.  I didn’t know what to say.  Karen suggested we find the fraternity house where it happened and pray there.

While on the college campus, we found fraternity row.  All the houses looked so similar and it had been 21 years since it happened.  Not remembering which house it was, we stopped on a corner with four fraternity houses surrounding us to pray.  I bowed my head but no words would come.  Then from somewhere deep within, sobs surfaced and turned into wails as I stood bent over with violent pain flowing from the depths of my soul.  This pain had been bound up, packed away, not given any air to breathe.  Now, it was opening, this wound covered in scar tissue, never allowed to heal.  It was rising to the surface.  I thought the pain might be too much.  This pain was more than I thought I could bear.  My friends surrounded me praying, like a canopy, protecting me and shielding me as the Healer did His surgery. 

The next few times I shared this part of my story, pain and tears continued to come as the Healer continued to heal this area of my heart.   However, after sharing this part of my story a few times, it became easier and easier.  Now I don’t feel the intense pain I once felt and I’m able to talk about it. 

This is how the Lord heals us.  First He reveals an area of our hearts that needs healing.  Then, he gently removes the scar tissue so the wound is exposed to the air for healing.  He breathes life to the areas once dead and numb.  This may cause temporary pain.  But the pain is only temporary while He does the surgery.  So many people avoid the surgery in fear of the pain being surfaced.  I am thankful I didn’t avoid facing the pain of my past that day in Illinois.  If I would have said, “I don’t need to go there and pray, really, I’m ok”, I would have missed the healing the Lord had for me and that pain would still be lying dormant in my heart festering.  And I surely wouldn’t be writing this today—I would still be paralyzed and numb, unable to share this part of my story. 

Rape is a real hurt.  It is a thief that steals more than can be physically counted.  But the Lord wants to restore what was stolen and mend the areas that are broken.  I no longer consider myself a victim, but rather victorious.  If this is part of your story as well, my heart hurts for you.  I pray that you too will allow the Lord access into those wounded areas so He can do the surgery required for healing.  Reach out to friends you trust who can stand around you during the healing process, praying for you.  If needed, see a counselor.  This is only my story of healing, but the Lord heals different people in different ways. I don’t know the process He will use, but I do know He is the good Healer and the Great Physician and He wants to heal you.