Why I Share My Abortion Story

“But in your hearts, revere Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to anyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have.  But do this with gentleness and respect.”  1 Peter 3:15

Dear Lord, thank you for the hope that we have in Christ.  As Deeper Still’s fundraising banquet draws near, I pray the ones you have purposed to come will attend and  see the hope you have given.  I pray Deeper Still will always be ready in season and out to give a reason for the hope we have in you.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I opened my email.  Inside was an email from someone who had read my story.

Her words were desperate.  The choice of abortion had stolen, and she ached with emptiness.  She longed for healing, but hopelessness dripped off her fingers as she expressed her pain and regret through words on a screen.

We spoke on the phone that day.  I pray the words the Lord gave me pumped hope into her hopelessness.  It was a divine connection.  God had ordained every word spoken or typed.  I pray she saw how intricately God’s loving hand was involved in her life.  God was reaching out to her to begin her healing journey.  This is our God.  This is our Father.  How He longs to fill us with His hope and healing and wholeness!

Our choice is whether we decide to take His hand.

She asked me a question that day.  

"Why do you share your story?"  

The words lingered in the air for only a brief second as I thought about this verse..."Always be ready to give a reason for the hope that you have." (1 Peter 3:15)

"Why do I share my story?"

The answer surprising rolled right off my tongue as if I had rehearsed it over and over again...

My passion is to see women and men set free from the bondage of the sin of abortion or any sin.  I want to see my brothers and sisters in Christ living in freedom!  The enemy lies and tries to tie our identity to an event or a situation and straps us down with condemnation, guilt, and shame.  

The enemy lies to us about who we are and it makes me plum mad!  My heart is to see those wounded by abortion set free to be a voice of truth to spread light on the harsh reality of the destruction it does to women, men, and families.  

Abortion not only ends the life of a living child with a heartbeat, it damages the heart of those who make that choice in ways that globally affect their lives. Abortion hinders marriages, mothering, fathering, and other relationships.  

The enemy's plan is to keep God's people locked up in silent defeat, bound in chains to keep them from fulfilling all God called them to do.  The enemy doesn't even have to do much to accomplish his goal.  When God's people agree with the lie, they will keep themselves bound.

God says in His Word, "And you will know the truth and the Truth will set you free." John 8:32

I share my story to share the truth that God not only forgives all sin, He removes all sin (Ps 103:12).  I am not identified by what I have done or not done.  I am identified as a child of the Most High God.  I am His beloved.  I am His handiwork created in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:10).  I am the righteousness of God in Christ (Rom 3:22), a new creation in Christ (2 Cor 5:17).

The more voices spreading the truth of abortion, the more hope we have for this atrocity to end and those wounded to find healing and freedom, which in turn leads back to spreading of Jesus's love and grace. It is a beautiful cycle!

The cycle of freedom is compounding!  

We need your voice.  Will you share your story?  It might be scary at first.  But then, it isn't.

And the more you share, the freer you become and the more freedom wins and the enemy is

defeated.

"And they overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of their testimony." Rev 12:11  

Take a breath.  Then, take God’s hand and a step towards freedom. .

There is freedom and healing.  Your sin is not your identity.  It is not who you are.  You are His.

You are why I share my story.

One Stone Away

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?  Hope in God.” Psalm 42:11

Father, the immensity of abortion can be overwhelming.  The culture of death in our society seems so big and insurmountable.  Our efforts even seem as if we are only throwing small stones at an enormous giant. Yet, this is not your first giant rodeo and small stones are exactly what You used to defeat the foe.  Lord, thank you that nothing is too big for you.  What seems as a giant to us is only one stone throw away from being overcome.  We ask for You to throw the stone.  Father, we hope in You.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Only a boy named David.  Only a little sling. Only a boy named David, but he could pray and sing.  Only a boy named David.  Only a bubbling brook.  Only a boy named David and five little stones he took. 

The Deeper Still team gathered in a room to pray.  In a circle we lifted up our nation and the world crying out for the lies of abortion to be brought into the light and for those who advocate it to clearly see the truth.  The voice of pro-choice shouted loudly as it ranted from the pages of an article read by Karen Ellison. It’s voice reminded me of another…

“And the Philistine [Goliath] said, ‘I defy the armies of Israel this day; give me a man, that we may fight together.’” 1 Sam 17:10

There are voices shouting in the world defying the living God and the armies of His people.  These voices cause many to shrink back in fear.  The fight seems too big, almost unconquerable.  Intimidation is their intent. 

However, there was only a boy who could pray and sing. 

   

As we gathered in the room that night as a team, worshipping and praying, it occurred to me that we were much like David.  We were small.  We only have a little sling.  We only have these stones.  BUT WE CAN PRAY AND SING. 

David’s battle wasn’t won with the weapons he fought with but with the courage in His heart and belief in His God.  The battle was won long before He ever stepped foot onto the battlefield.  The battle was won way back in the sheep field through years of singing and praying. 

When we were singing and praying, we were slinging a stone into the air.  Every time we cry out to the Lord with our voices, we are one stone throw closer to victory.

 

David refused to remain silent in the battle.  He spoke up for truth.  He didn’t let the voice of the enemy be the only voice heard.  He shouted back at the giant…

“But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.   This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand.”  1 Sam 17:45b-46a

We declare, as David did, to the giant and all others that are listening that God is our hope.  With our voice we will stand for life and truth.  And we will keeping singing and praying knowing we are only one stone throw away from victory.   

Resting in Hope

“Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest in hope…You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.” Acts 2:26, 28

Father, we ask for the hearts of the participants of Deeper Still to be made glad, for their tongues to rejoice and for them to rest in Your hope.  Father, we ask for You to show them the paths of life and fill them with the fullness of Your joy in Your presence.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

My eight year old daughter, Sarah, and I were walking together the other day.  We circled the track raised above the gym while her brothers played basketball below.  Just walking and talking.

As we talked, she shared how she was glad she was the only girl in the family.  She explained that if she had a sister, she’d have to share her daddy at Father/Daughter dances and date nights.  She loves her daddy.  And she likes having her daddy all to herself. 

Then, the conversation took a bit of a different turn when she changed direction and said, “BUT, if I had a sister, I would like to have a big sister already grown up. “

My heart toddled as her statement lingered in the air.  I wanted to tell her, but knew the timing wasn’t right.  What could I say?  All I could say to my sweet eight year old girl through a genuine smile was, “Yes, that would be nice.”

 

But, what my heart wanted to express was…

Sarah, you do have a sister already grown up.  Her name is Kori Danielle.  She would have been twenty years old now.  She is in heaven.  She never had a chance to live.  And I’m so sorry you don’t have that big sister here.  I wish you did.  But, someday you will get to meet her in heaven and I know you will be the best of friends. She loves you so much.

But, I couldn’t say that.  Not yet.  A time will come when I will tell her and my boys about their big sister.  I will tell them about my “choice” and apologize through tears.  But that day is not yet. 

And someday we will be reunited again in heaven and Kori will run to me with open arms.  But not yet. 

There was a time when it was too painful for me to think about my daughter in heaven.  There was a time when I completely blocked her from my memory or thoughts because I just couldn’t go there.  The Lord used Deeper Still to heal that broken area of my heart.  I can’t say I don’t ever get sad thinking about my daughter in heaven.  That wouldn’t be true.  There are times my heart does still grieve.  But, I couldn’t even think about her before and now I can.

Now, I am free to think of my beautiful 20 year old daughter in heaven.  I can think of her and smile.  Someday we too will walk and talk and I will share all about her sister and brothers with her.  Someday.

  

But for now, I can just picture her at Daddy/daughter dances in heaven dancing with her heavenly Father and be filled with joy knowing she is fully and completely loved.  She loves her Daddy and dancing with Him.  She loves her mommy as well. 

 

And that is why I can rest in hope and be glad.