Why We Do What We Do

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“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”  Galations 6:9

Father, I pray that we as a nation would not grow weary in doing good.  I pray for those with a heart for life to be bold and encouraged to continue to stand and speak for truth.  Let us stand and rise up as a mighty army of truth and light to defeat death and darkness.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

A friend and Deeper Still Chapter Leader, Laurie Haynes, wrote about an experience she had recently on her Facebook page.  I asked her if I could share it today:

“I'm really struggling today. I was working at the PRC (Pregnancy Resource Center) this morning and found out that a sweet client that I met with 3 weeks ago decided to have an abortion 2 days ago. When I did her ultrasound 3 weeks ago, that little one was 8 weeks, had a strong heartbeat and was moving around. The pictures below show what a 12 week baby looks like - the same age her baby was when it was aborted on Wednesday. I am hurting so much for her and grieving this little one. Please pray for her.”

These pictures show a baby in the womb at 12 weeks.  As is scientifically known and as we can also physically see, this is not a blob of tissue nor a group of cells, this is a fully developing baby complete with fingers and toes.

 

I remember the first time I saw the ultrasound of my first born son, Joseph, at 12 weeks.  The reality of how developed and alive he was in the womb flooded my heart with a mixture of joy and sorrow.  Joy at seeing him jump and move in the womb and sorrow at the reality of the choice I made to end a life at 11 weeks of age nine years earlier.  There is nothing more sobering than seeing. 

How anyone could deny these are living human beings is beyond comprehension for me.  I don’t condemn this young girl she is referring to above, I once was her.  Instead, my heart is grieved for her and for her child. 

One of the missions of Deeper Still is to advance the cause for life.  We want to see those who have been wounded by abortion set free and healed.  Yes and amen.  Deeper Still is a post-abortion healing ministry and pro-life.  Post-abortion healing ministries are in the fight for life.  Our mission is simple and our objective is clear.  Our mission:  Healing and lasting freedom for those wounded by abortion.  Objective:  To rise up an army of women and men who are free to be a voice and stand for truth, to tell the world the truth about abortion, to dispel the lies of the enemy and defuse the declaration of darkness.   If women and men are not free to speak, silence by default becomes an ally to the enemy’s tactics to steal, kill and destroy. 

I pray those in the pro-life community would embrace and advance post-abortion healing ministry and see it as a potent weapon in the arsenal of justice and truth. 

If you are pro-life and have a heart for seeing abortion defeated in this nation, there is a worship and prayer opportunity this Saturday, August 26^th, in Maryville, TN at Foothills Church.  It is an all-day event, from 8am until 6pm.  You are welcome to just stay for a little while or all day if you’d like!  It is totally open to all who want to come pray.   There will also be live streaming of the event for those who live out of town but would like to stand with us in prayer for our nation and the world in seeing the captives set free and abortion end.  You can go to our Facebook page Deeper Still on Saturday to find the link to live streaming.  Will you please stand with us to pray to end abortion?  We need you.  

The Mission is Too Great

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”  Ephesians 4:1-3

Father, as Deeper Still grows, we ask for unity in the teams.  We ask for the leaders of the teams and the team members to understand the power of unity and understand the importance of fighting to keep the unity of the Spirit.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Unity doesn’t just happen.  If it did, Paul wouldn’t have had to write Ephesians 4:1-3.  When he says, “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace“, there is an understanding that acquiring and maintaining unity must be intentional. 

How many churches have split over minute issues?  How many divisions have there been in ministry over mishaps?  The power of unity is to be sought for and fought for. 

Earlier this year, I had a misunderstanding with a friend who served with me in another ministry and offense entered.  It wasn’t my intention to offend, but offense does not care if it was invited, it will just come and try to crash any Kingdom party. 

Knowing I had offended my friend, I asked for her forgiveness.  She admitted she had been offended and forgave me easily.  The Lord had already begun speaking to her about the offense and revealed to her I did not intend harm.  Prayer had been the catalyst to all this misunderstanding being resolved and all was well.  We were able to easily move forward in serving together with unity.  It was a beautiful resolution and we both grew in the process. 

Later on, another friend we served with in this ministry asked me about the situation and how we were able to resolve it so quickly and move forward.  I answered her, “The mission is too great.  The mission is greater than any small differences or misunderstandings.  We cannot afford to be offended and lose unity when there is a mission as great as the Kingdom of God.”  There were ladies who needed to be loved on.  They needed to hear about freedom in Christ.  Disunity would have hindered the work of the Lord and that just wasn’t acceptable. 

The mission is too great. 

What if we applied this mantra to other areas of our lives?  Our marriages?  Relationships with our children? Relationships with others in our church family?  The power of unity is vital.  There is no limit to what the Lord will do with a team that is unified.  Friends, the mission is too great.  Let’s endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  

加油 Add Oil

“’Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.’ Then he said to her ‘Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels, do not gather just a few.  And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it into all those vessels and set aside the full ones.’” 2 Kings 4:2b-4

Father, thank you for your Holy Spirit and anointing.  Lord, we recognize our need for you.  Father, we pray for our Chinese sisters who are having their first retreat next weekend.  Lord, will you add your oil (anointing) and pour out Your Spirit on them and those attending. Do above and beyond anything they could ask, think or imagine.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

One of my Chinese friends would say the phrase “Add Oil” often while ministering together.   This phrase intrigued me and I loved it!  After looking it up, I found the phrase was a common Chinese expression of encouragement.  The phrase in English would read, “jiā yóu”. 

After being with my friend Joy from China who said this, I was writing and frankly felt a bit rusty.  I was texting a friend asking her to pray since I “felt rusty” and without thinking said, “I think I need to add some oil,”  referring to feeling rusty.  Then I laughed out loud at what I just typed.  Add oil.  Yes!  I need to add oil! 

In ministry, we need the Holy Spirit.  Without His oil, we will be like a rusty hinge making only noise. 

We have to add His oil to everything we do.  We need His oil.  And we need to be full vessels in order to be able to pour out the oil inside of us to others. 

The lady in the passage mentioned above in 2 Kings 4 had nothing but a jar of oil.  She told the man of God, “I have nothing… but a jar of oil.” 

 

You may feel today like you have nothing.  You may feel ill-equipped and like you have nothing to offer.  But if you have the Holy Spirit inside of you as a believer, you have oil.  And the Lord wants you to use the oil you have to pour out into the vessels around you—and not just a few.  Add oil to others.  Encourage others.  You never have nothing to offer.  And if you need more oil yourself, ask the Lord and He will pour out His Spirit and fill you with more so that you can pour out into other vessels. It is the Lord’s desire to “add oil” to all His beloved.

When the Rooster Crows

“Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He has said to him, ‘Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.” Luke 22:60b-62

Father, thank you that you are faithful even when we falter.  Thank you for your “wake up” calls as you look to us with compassion in your eyes and we realize how far we have fallen.  Thank you that even our deepest failures and regrets don’t disqualify us from ministry, but rather usher in an awareness of our humanity and dependence on you.  We are desperate for you. We need you.  Let your rooster crow in the Heavenlies and wake your people to your calling.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

In the Chinese culture, this year is the “Year of the Rooster.”  For those of you who have been following us, you know we have a love for China and the Lord has been opening doors for China as well.  When I heard it was the “Year of the Rooster”, I decided to ask the Lord about the Rooster and if it signified anything.  Here is what I felt I heard in my spirit:

A rooster signals a wake-up call.  It is symbolic of a new day, a new morning, a sunrise (Sonrise) and with it light expanding across the horizons.  This year is a year of waking up, a new day, new beginnings, new hope. 

The Lord is calling forth His people--those who have been asleep to awake. 

When Peter denied the Lord three times, it was a rooster who "woke" him up to the truth. 

I immediately thought this was a word for China and still believe it is a word for China.  However, I also believe it is a word for all of us. 

Perhaps we don’t deny the Lord verbally, but in our actions or thinking--compromising what is true.  

We go from being on fire for the Lord willing to cut someone’s ear off to being wishy-washy in our convictions and justifying actions.   Then…a rooster crows.  The Holy Spirit is creative in getting our attention. 

This isn’t the post I thought I’d write today about the rooster.  I have many fun stories about roosters.  After the Lord gave me the word about the rooster being a wake-up call, He began showing off by showing me roosters nearly everywhere I went—for real.

This post could have been about how the Lord gives confirmation after confirmations when He is inclined to be sure you know you’ve heard from Him—this is true. 

Or about the waking up of a generation or culture to the reality of His truth and the hope of a new day.  I do believe the Lord is saying that as well.  Wake up.  It is a new day.  There is new hope! 

But this post is about our humanity and the Lord’s eagerness to forgive.  Our failures don’t disqualify us.  If you had an abortion, it doesn’t disqualify you.  If you compromised today and denied your Lord by a wrong choice that seems to pale in comparison to abortion (of course sin is sin in God’s eyes, only we quantify it)—there is forgiveness, hope and a new day. 

If your love has grown cold or life has beaten your faith to a pulp causing the sin of unbelief to fester and choke out your joy and passion, today may be a day to hear the rooster. 

Hear the rooster say it’s a new day, the sun (Son) is rising on the horizon.  Sorrow may have lasted for a night and that night season seemed long, but it is a new morning with the Light of the world shining bright crowing in a new hope.  This year is a year of waking up, a new day, new beginnings, new hope. 

The Lord is calling forth His people--those who have been asleep to awake.  It is time to awake to the truth.  It is time to hear the rooster.

Shift in the Atmosphere

“Why do the nations rage, and the people plot a vain thing?  The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord and against His Anointed saying, ‘Let us break Their bonds in pieces and cast away their cords from us.’  He who sits in the heavens shall laugh; the Lord shall hold them in derision.  Then He shall speak to them in His wrath, and distress them in His deep displeasure.”  Psalms 2:1-6

Oh Lord, You see the vain plotting of those in the world who do not understand You.  Father, they are deceived and do not know what they do.  At one time, we may have even joined in their depraved chorus.  Lord, open the eyes of those cloaked in deception.  Father, may they see the truth to avoid Your judgement. May their words be turned from bringing death to speaking life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I recently read an article in a popular teen magazine that brought tears.  Not tears of joy or even sadness, but tears of pain.  My heart ached for the one who wrote the article and for those who would join in applauding her exposé. 

In the article, the writer gave advice to friends of teens who are about to have an abortion or just had an abortion.  Her ideas for comfort included a variety of superficial gifts that boasted to aid the physical ailments after her “procedure.”  What this author disturbingly missed and what so many in the world fail to accept is that no amount of physical effort can comfort the pain of the heart ripped in pieces from this “surgical procedure.”  As women, we were called to bring forth life, not destroy it.  Everything about abortion goes against nature.  It goes against our natural instinct to protect and nurture the life inside our womb.  However, pro-abortion groups constantly insist there are no emotional, mental or spiritual ramifications for abortion—only a medical procedure. 

In fact these groups would have us believe that not only is it no big deal, it is also the new normal.  The depravity astounds and defies sanity.  I wrote a post on how one in three or four women in our churches have had an abortion.  My reason for this post was to bring awareness that there are 1 in 3 or 4 women in our churches who have abortion-wounded hearts and need healing.  About a month ago, I read an article from a pro-abortion group that also brought up this statistic but not for the purpose of bringing awareness of healing.  Rather the goal was to show that abortion is normal.  The very thought makes this heart cringe in pain.  To think of destroying the life of the unborn as normal is barbaric and should not be considered a viable viewpoint.   

However, there is hope.  In the past month, legislation in the house and acts by our new President have proven to be consistently for life.  There has been a shift in the atmosphere and where there is a shift, there is bound to be turbulence.  We can expect to see more pro-abortion groups and those who support them to come out speaking in support of abortion. It is important to pray for these people.  Pray for the Lord to open their eyes and hearts to His truth.  Pray they see the hurt caused by abortion --as an unborn life taken and the mother and father hearts devastated.   Pray for life to continue to win and for the hope of light overcoming the darkness to spread from this shining city on a hill to the vast domains of the earth. 

As later on in Psalm 2 it says, “Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations for Your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for Your possession.”  Amen. 

Willows by the Watercourses {Repost}

“I will pour water on him who is thirsty, and floods on the dry ground; I will pour My Spirit on your descendants, and My blessing on your offspring; They will spring up among the grass like willows by the watercourses.”  Isaiah 44:3-4

Father, we ask for you to pour Your waters onto those who are thirsty and flood the dry ground of those with abortion wounded hearts.  Father, as You know, the Deeper Still Ministry is needed beyond our borders, in other states and nations.  Father, we ask for You to pour out Your Spirit on the chapters that are emerging and bless the offspring from Deeper Still.  Father, we pray for the chapters to spring up like willows by the watercourses, fully nourished and fruitful.  In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

New chapters of Deeper Still are in the birthing process and many more haven’t been conceived yet.  God knows when and where these chapters will spring up.  As these new chapters are being planted, they will need to be nurtured and watered with the Spirit of the Living God. 

In verse 3 above, God says He will pour water on Him who is thirsty and floods on the dry ground.  Water and floods are often used in Scripture to depict abundant blessings and are also used to denote the influence of the Holy Spirit (Bible Hub-Barnes Commentary). 

God is saying that He will pour out His Holy Spirit on those who are thirsty and bless them abundantly! Amen!

In verse 4, the He says, “They will spring up among the grass like willows by the watercourses.”

Willow trees in our western culture symbolize grief, such as in the weeping willow.  However, in the places where the willow originated (China), it symbolizes vitality and growth.  This symbolism comes from its ability to reproduce easily from cut branches. 

Interestingly enough, I found 5 more facts about willow trees that I thought mirrored perfectly the heart of Deeper Still as it is beginning new chapters. 

       1.  Willow trees not only sprout easily, they are fast growers. 

       2.   Willows have medicinal properties that alleviate pain and bring healing.

3     3.  Willows are used to build.

       4.  Willows need to have the proper soil and need an abundance of water (Holy Spirit).

       5.   Willows help prevent erosion. 

As Deeper Still grows and becomes all God has for it to be, may the new chapters grow in vitality, may the pain of the past be shed as hearts are healed, may the ruins of many desolations be rebuilt and restored, may the roots be ever in the right soil and watered abundantly, and may Deeper Still help prevent the erosion of our culture, our nation, and the world.  Amen!  

Baby Step with a Big Purpose {Prayer for Deeper Still China}

“Then he took his staff in his hand; and he chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in a shepherd’s bag, in a pouch which he had, and his sling was in his hand.  And he drew near to the Philistine.”  1 Samuel 17:40

“And they said to Him, ‘We have here only five loaves and two fish.’  He said, ‘Bring them here to Me.’  Then He commanded the multitudes to sit down on the grass.  And he took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed and broke and gave the loaves to the disciples’ and the disciples gave to the multitudes."  Matthew 14:17-19

Dear Lord, our eyes sometimes see only something small but You see the big picture.  David only had five stones, and with one stone and an obedient courageous heart, he brought down Goliath.  Also, You Lord saw the multitudes that needed to be fed and used again one obedient heart and only five loaves of bread plus two fish to feed the multitudes.  Lord, you know the five Chinese ladies who have come with obedient courageous hearts for the Chinese Deeper Still retreat this weekend.  Father, we ask for You to use them mightily for Your Kingdom purpose.  Lord, we pray for all Your purposes to be fulfilled and accomplished through this weekend.  Lord, may they leave this weekend with courage in their hearts to stand against a giant in their nation and for the feeding of the multitudes.   In  Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

The story is long with many weaving of threads.  How the Lord has brought all this together is beyond reasonable explanation and knowingly impossible without His Hand masterfully knitting it all together.   

The short version…We have five ladies from China who have come to either participate or serve at the first Chinese Deeper Still Retreat this coming weekend, August 25-28th, in Knoxville, TN. 

The Lord spoke to Deeper Still leaders at the beginning of the year and said, “Go to China without going to China.”  

So, here we are seven months later and China is here.

   

This journey has been amazing as we have seen the Lord bring it all together.  We are in awe of the magnificence of our Lord. 

Will you please pray for this weekend, for the Deeper Still team, and the five the Lord has entrusted to us for His purposes and glory? 

Glory be to our God and Father, and Lord of all.  His Kingdom come.  His will be done. 

In a Loveless Nation

“And the love of the great body of people will grow cold because of the multiplied lawlessness and iniquity.”  Matthew 24:12

Father, we lift our nation up to you.  Father, we ask for you to forgive us for our iniquities as a nation.  Lord, we have blasphemed Your mighty name.  We have turned our backs on our statues and mocked those who stood for truth.  We have forced You out of our public schools and institutions in the name of equality and separation of church and state.  We need You in our nation again.  We need Your love to come in and flood our hearts.  We need Your eyes to see the depravity in this world.  For what we are too blind to see we will inevitably run into.  Lord, may our love not grow cold.  Fill us.  In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

Hallerin Hilton Hill, a popular radio personality, spoke at my church last Sunday as a guest speaker.  He shared his heart and love for this nation and encouraged us during this time in which our nation has endured several sad occurrences recently with tragic loss of life.  One statement he shared was his father’s advice to him as his father was in his final days on earth.  He said this:

“Remember the answer to everything is love.”

In our nation, we are in a crisis of loveless-ness.  We are in a crisis of disrespect and disregard for human life.  We have forgotten the commandments Jesus gave when on the earth: 

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. 

Two commands.  That’s it.   All the others hang in the balance of these two.  A friend of mine, who is also a very gifted and anointed worship leader wrote these words that beautifully illustrates this point: 

“If we see ourselves as unworthy of love, we see others as unworthy of love also.  But if we see that He is crazy for us, we will love ourselves as well, and in return love others with the same crazy, extravagant, gracious love.  I believe America is broken and hurting, and in search of her true identity…If we would fix our eyes back on Jesus, we would learn how to love ourselves and how to love others, and in doing so would end this nasty epidemic of hate that seems to be rooted so deep in this land. May authentic love be rooted once again in this country and in the Church, but most of all may it start with me.”  -Ashlynn Bolding

Amen and amen. 

I pray we would not get calloused as a nation to the terror and fear that has happened recently.  This is not the norm in our nation, nor should it be the accepted as commonplace anywhere.  Having disregard for human life should never be the norm. 

Devaluing human life cannot and should not be ignored.   We have all been created in the image of God, no matter the age, color, ethnicity, religion, background, education or socioeconomic status.  We are His image bearers, and as such, we are violently hated by the enemy of this world.  This enemy has one mission, and that is to kill, steal and destroy.

 

We have one mission given to us by our Creator, and that is to love, all people.   May we never become indifferent to human lives lost no matter the cause or circumstance and may our love never grow cold.  

Please Talk about this Topic

“Mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you.”  Jude 1:2

Father in Heaven, Lord, we ask for You to multiply the mercy, peace and love of Deeper Still.  We ask for you to expand Deeper Still.  We ask for You to multiply healing of those wounded from abortion to across the nation and the world.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Sobs interrupted by gasps of breath filled the car. 

We had just left a fundraising event for a local crisis pregnancy center.  The guest speaker was Pam Tebow.  The crowd listened intently as she shared her powerful testimony.  The doctors had encouraged her to abort her son due to health reasons.  She chose life.  As a result, Tim Tebow was born.  Tim Tebow is the famous football player once known for writing scripture under his eyes and his bold kneel for Christ. 

I left the event broken and desperate.  Sobbing all the way home in the car, I thought about the girl I had aborted that never had a chance to breathe her first breath of air.  That night I wondered the “what ifs” and the “what ifs” broke me. 

God had been leading me on a journey of healing my abortion wounded heart for the past 20 years and I have to admit, up until that night I thought I was fine.  I didn’t see the need to go any deeper.  I thought, “I’m good right where I am.”

However, that night my heart whispered more.  God spoke to me during the event and said, “It is time.  It is time to go deeper.”

Three weeks after that event, He led me to the Deeper Still ministry through a friend and I attended the Deeper Still Ministry training two months later.  God led me deeper and drastically changed my life.

A friend recently told me she was hesitant to share her abortion story at her Bible study group because she was concerned there were women there who were post-abortive and that it may cause them pain to hear the topic of abortion.  Our churches remain silent on the issue of abortion for many reasons, but I believe this is also one of the reasons pastors tend to shrink back from this topic.

Can I just say something about this reason for not talking about abortion?  We need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit when sharing about any topic, but perhaps hushing is hindering the Holy Spirit from doing a much needed work in people who need to hear the hard stuff.  God uses the hard to stir up in us a discontentment for the status quo and open our eyes to our need for Him to heal.  It is easy to ignore the pain when it has been numbed and dormant.

For true healing to occur, a person has to realize their need for a Doctor.  The pain surfacing awakens our need.  Then as Christine Caine has said, "We must embrace the pain of recovery."

In any surgery, there is pain involved.  We can ignore the issues and pretend they aren't there and deceive ourselves into believing they will just go away or we can let the Surgeon do His surgery and embrace the pain of recovery.  After the surgery and recovery are over, we can be healthy and whole!  But, we have to know we need surgery and be willing to undergo the hard in order to be healed.

When churches, pastors and leaders decide to not talk about abortion because it might "upset someone" or because "It is a sensative issue", they are denying that there is an infection in the body of Christ.  If Pam Tebow wouldn't have talked about abortion that night, I wouldn't have seen my need for deeper healing.  It is only when we are faced with our pain, that we realize how much we need the Surgeon.

The pain of recovery is temporal.  The pain of denial is infinite.

If you are a church pastor or leader, please talk about this issue.  Please let your people know there is healing and freedom.  In doing so, you are multiplying the healing of His wounded.  God is a God of mercy, peace and love.  

God is multiplying His mercy, peace and love.  Thank you for joining us in prayer as He multiplies His Kingdom.

Preventive Measures

"But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.  Then He said to His disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.  Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborer into His harvest.'" Matthew 9:36-38

Lord, we ask for the expansion of Deeper Still. Father, will you send forth the laborers into the field for Your harvest.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.

I saw across the table from a friend explaining the ministry of Deeper Still.  She had never heard my story and tears welled up in her eyes as she listened intently realizing I had an abortion at age 19.

She immediately loved the ministry of Deeper Still and healing the abortion-wounded.  Being pro-life, she asked in an affirming and inquiring way, "Does this ministry do anything preventative about abortion?"

Pausing for just a moment, I directed her to one of our ministry partners, a local pro-life crisis pregnancy center, but then the Holy Spirit interrupted and I began to explain how this ministry is preventative.

"Society spews the lies that abortion is no big deal, it is just a procedure, it is just a blob of tissue, it is my body and I can do whatever I want with no consequences.  When these post- abortive men and women are truly free, they become an army of voices rising up for truth. And that is how Deeper Still is a preventative ministry."

We need women and men free to be a voice of truth, so they can then, in turn, go into the fields and become co-laborers for the harvest in the Kingdom of God.  We need this ministry in all states throughout the US and into the world for truth to arise and darkness to be dispelled.  Thank you praying and continuing to pray for the message of truth to spread throughout the globe.

God Moves Stones

“Very early in the morning, on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb when the sun had risen.  And they said among themselves, ‘Who will roll away the stone from the door of the tomb for us?’” Mark 16:3

Father, I pray for the Deeper Still team and participants to have faith like Mary and Mary.  I pray they would just go in faith trusting you to roll away the heavy stones.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

At the Deeper Still Team Meeting last week, Karen Ellison taught from this scripture in Mark 16. 

Jesus had been in the tomb three days.  Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, set out early in the morning heading toward the tomb to anoint Jesus’ body with spices.  On the way, they were talking among themselves and wondered, “Oh yeah, there is this big boulder in the way, I wonder how we are going to roll it away.”

What I love is that they kept going. They had everything they needed and they went on in faith that somehow the stone would be rolled away. 

Participants come to the Deeper Still retreats, not with their spices, but with their suitcases, clothes, makeup, and other things they need for the weekend.  Physically prepared perhaps, but one thing they may not know is how the stone will be rolled away.  

 

“But when they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away—for it was very large.” (V. 4)

The stone was very large.  Most likely the stone was too heavy for the ladies to move on their own.  It took faith for them to press on to their destination. 

The abortion-wounded participants come with a very large stone that seems too monstrous to move.  Many fear that they will come and nothing will happen.  However, God knows how to move a stone. 

It is not only the participants that must come in faith believing for God to move stones, the Deeper Still team members must also go in faith believing that no stone is too big for our God. 

Deeper Still team members come prepared, also not with spices, but in the power of prayer.   Peppered in prayer, the team members are going in faith, knowing they cannot roll away the stone on their own.  The stone is way too heavy to move.  There is only One who can move the stone.

  

Huge stones are nothing for our God.  One word from our Divine Creator and stones are smashed into pieces, hearts are changed, and captives are freed.

 

We just need to come, the participants and the team, in faith.   We go in faith even when we don’t know the how. 

And on Sunday morning, we too, like the mother of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, look up and see the stone rolled away and we are in awe—for it is always very large.  God is able to move the stone.   

God's Not Afraid of the Dark

“If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. “ Psalm 139:8

Lord, I pray the abortion wounded and participants of Deeper Still would receive this truth that you are with them and have never left.  And I pray those considering abortion this day to have a revelation of your presence and that you are a very present help in time of trouble.  Lord, you alone can rescue. We ask you to rescue.   Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

Abortion is dark.   There is nothing about abortion that brings life and light.  Abortion brings death and darkness.  The Lord is light in the darkness.  God has never been afraid of the dark.  Jesus singlehandedly took on the greatest darkness and evil when He chose to take all our sin upon Himself, give His life for us, and go into the depths of hell to conquer sin and death for all eternity. 

Jesus wasn’t afraid to take death head on nearly 2000 years ago and He persists in pushing back the darkness.  The enemy laughed and thought he won the day Jesus hung on the cross.  However, he didn’t know the end of the story.  From the moment Jesus cried “It is finished”, the enemy’s laughter ceased.  In that moment, he was finished, death was defeated and the curse of sin conquered.

Every time the doors of an abortion clinic are opened, the enemy laughs, thinking he has won a battle.  He doesn’t realize there is more to the story. 

The Lord gave me a picture the other night during a worship service. ..

The room was dark and there was a shadow on a table.  It was me.  It was the day I had my abortion.  There were screams.  My mind was foggy and I wanted to escape.  I wanted to be rescued, but still I didn’t move.  It is all as if it was a bad nightmare from which I can never awake.  Then I saw the Lord.  He was there.  He was there with me that day in my hell.  Beside the cold sterile metal table, He knelt.  He cried.  He prayed. 

Perhaps you may not believe He was there with me that day.   “If I make my bed in hell, behold, you are there.” Ps 139: 8.  He was there.

What was he praying?  I believe He was praying for the end of my story.  See, the enemy isn’t able to see the end of the story, but the Lord can.  He knows the end of the story.

I wouldn’t allow the Lord to rescue me that day.  The hardness of my heart wouldn’t allow the Lord to penetrate at that time.  However, the Lord knew there would be a day when He would have my heart once more and I would be truly and fully His again.  He knew there would be a day when victory would be my shout and cry and the enemy’s laughter would cease.  The Lord knew what the enemy meant for evil, He would use for good, for the advancement of His Kingdom. 

The same is true for you.  The Lord was with you in your darkness, praying for you, loving you.  He knows the end of your story.

No, the Lord is not afraid of the dark.  He knows the end of the story and the victory is His.

An Exceedingly Great Army

“’Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.’ So I prophesized as He commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived, and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly great army.” Ezekiel 37:9-10

Father,  as we are drawing near to the Deeper Still Training, we ask for You to bring Your chosen from the four corners of the earth and breathe Your breath of life upon them.  Breathe Your life into the dry and desolate lands scorched from bloodshed.  Bring forth new life and may those coming go and breathe Your life into others and may there be an exceedingly great army come out of this training. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

In Ezekial 37, Ezekial was brought to a valley full of bones.  He was confronted with death and asked a question posed by God, “Can these bones live?” 

As a nation, we have been confronted with death.  The videos released exposing the horrific scenes from Planned Parenthood were shocking and a visual reminder of the stark reality of the monstrosity of abortion. 

An alarm has sounded. 

And the answer to the questions still rings…”Can these bones live?”

The answer is a resounding YES.

Jesus is still in the resurrection business.  Always has been and always will be. 

Every time we speak out for truth.  Every time we pray.  Every time we fight for the lives of these innocent ones.  Every time we share our redemption story.   In all of this-- life is breathed and life is given.

Ezekial was told to say to the bones, “Hear the word of the Lord! Thus says the Lord God to these bones: ’Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live.  I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live.’”  (Ezekial 37:5-6)

We are the flesh God has put on the bones.  He is breathing life into us and calling us to go forth and become an exceedingly great army.  We have been confronted with death and it is time for us to decide how we will respond.  Will we just sit back and do nothing and lay still like the dry bones in the valley? Or will we allow the Lord to breathe life into us, stand up, and say yes to His assignment?

One thing is for certain, we can no longer stay stagnant in denial.  

The Deeper Still Team in having training next weekend, August 21-22  in Knoxville, TN.  If you just want to learn more about the abortion wounded or how to minister to the abortion wounded, then this training is for you.  If you want to start a Deeper Still Chapter or are interested in starting a chapter, this training is for you also!  Men and women!  We need you both!  There are already about 90 people registered from 12 different states and 2 countries. 

There is an exceedingly great army God is calling forth!  He is waking up His people to spread His message of truth and resurrection life!  Come be a part of what He is doing!  If you don’t feel called to come, will you join us in the fight by praying?  We need prayer warriors in this army! 

Does Planned Parenthood Care No Matter What?

“Why do the nations rage, And the people plot a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord and against His anointed, saying, ‘Let us break their bonds in pieces and cast away their cords from us.’ He who sits in the heavens shall laugh; The Lord shall hold them in derision.  The He shall speak to them in His wrath, and distress them in His deep displeasure.” Psalms 2:1-5

Oh Heavenly Father, we come to you today on behalf of our nation.  Oh Lord, the people have indeed plotted a vain thing.  The governments and rulers of our nation have created laws against You and against Your anointed.  Oh Lord, we as a people have allowed them and have bowed down to the idols of selfishness and self-reliance.  We have sacrificed our sons and daughters on the altars of self-interest.  Oh Father, we ask for you to hear our cry and forgive us and forgive our land.  We ask for You to speak and for truth to be unveiled and justice to come.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

My heart pounded as we entered the door of Planned Parenthood.  Anxiousness hovered over me like a dark cloud on a dreary day.  I walked to the desk to sign in.  The lady behind the counter measured up my fear and quickly suggested a pill to ease my nerves.  She handed me the pill and water.  Within moments, lightness overtook the heaviness of dread.  I couldn’t feel.  Everything seemed funny.  Then my name was called…from that point on, nothing was funny.

A nurse escorted me down a long hallway and into a cold sterile room.  There was a metal table.  I knew immediately I wanted to leave, but it seemed too late.  Then pain.  Screams.  Wailing.  Uncontrollable tears. 

Then it was over.   I was no longer pregnant.  In the waiting room, I knew…I knew what I had done was wrong.  I had tried to convince myself that it was only tissue.  I had tried to convince myself it was only a blob of nothingness.  My baby was 11 weeks old when I aborted.

At 11 weeks old, she had hands, feet, fingers, and toes.  Babies can be seen dancing and playing in the womb at 11 weeks old.

  This is a picture of my 13-year-old son at 11 weeks gestation.

Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t I know? Would it have mattered?  I’d like to hope so.

In April 2014, I went back to visit that Planned Parenthood for the first time in twenty-one years to pray healing over the land.  Karen Ellison, the founder of Deeper Still and some other Deeper Still team members and long time friend, Jill Balkema, walked around the building with me looking for a spot to pray.  The building had an aura of decay and death even evidenced by its outward appearance.  It was as if the death that happened on the inside of the building couldn’t help but seep through and spread to the outer as a wound bleeding inside rises to the surface as a discolored and eye-sore bruise.  

With the door in sight, my only thought was, “I wish I would have never opened that door. “ Then, as we prayed, the sign by the door was brought to my attention.  “Care. No matter what.”

I wonder?  Do they really care no matter what?  What about the lives lost daily?  What of the women left wounded who come into their doors?  What about those standing outside crying because of a choice made years ago?  If I had told them my story and how an abortion nearly destroyed me, would they had listened?  If they read this post, how would they respond?

Please don’t misunderstand.  I don’t blame them.  It was my choice.  My question is a rhetorical one.  The answer…an obvious one. 

Planned Parenthood has been in the news much lately as the public has gained knowledge of their practices in harvesting and selling aborted fetal tissue.  Planned Parenthood received $528 million dollars last year of tax payer’s money or $1.4 million per day (Lifenews.com).  Congress is in the process of trying to bring a vote to the floor to have Planned Parenthood defunded by tax dollars. Let us continue to pray for the lies to stop and truth to surface. 

That day in April 2014, as we stood outside Planned Parenthood in Champaign, IL and prayed, a lady came out and asked us to leave.  Did that lady care why I was outside crying? Twenty-one years of heartbreak and pain.  Twenty-one years of “what if”.  Twenty-one years of wishing I had never walked through that door.  A twenty-year-old girl I will never see this side of heaven. 

“Care.  No Matter What. “?   It is time for truth. 

Please join us in praying for truth to prevail and click on the link below to sign the petition for Planner Parenthood to be defunded.

http://plannedparenthoodexposed.com/

Arise. Run. Marvel

“But Peter arose and ran to the tomb; and stooping down, he saw the linen cloths lying by themselves; and he departed, marveling to himself at what had happened.” Luke 24:12

Oh sweet Heavenly Father, how we thank you for the empty tomb!  How we thank you for the resurrection life of Jesus Christ and the new life we have because He lives!  Thank you for the Cross and the new life we have because of the death and resurrection of our Savior King Jesus.  We marvel at what You have done for us.  We pray that participants of Deeper Still would arise and run to Jesus as Peter did.  I pray then they would stoop down and see the resurrection power and marvel at what has happened.  Amen. 

In reviewing the resurrection of Jesus, my attention was drawn to the grave clothes.  In Luke 24, it says the grave clothes were lying there by themselves.  In the gospel of John, it gives a little more detail and says that the grave clothes were lying there, but the handkerchief that had been around His head was folded off to the side by itself. 

I began thinking about these grave clothes lying there and thought of Lazarus.  In John Chapter 11, Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead, but when he was raised from the dead, his grave clothes were still tightly wrapped on him.  He needed help to be unwrapped, loosed, and set free.

 

“And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with grave clothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth.  Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.” John 11:44

In contrasting these two resurrections, the grave clothes kept coming to my mind.  I don’t think it is an accident in scripture that they are different.  Jesus could have removed the grave clothes from Lazarus miraculously.  After all, he did raise him from the dead.  I think He could certainly untie a bandage.  So, why didn’t He?  Perhaps it was for this very contrast.  Perhaps not, but it is an interesting point to consider.

 

Death can come in many forms.  Every day people who are very much alive choose decisions that lead to a death in their lives.  Abortion does lead to an actual death of a person.  There is no denying that death is real in abortion.  However, there is a spiritual and emotional death in the person who has the abortion as well. 

Our Jesus is the giver of life.  His death was to pay the penalty for all our sins.  He died to give us new life.  And He died not only to forgive us of our sins, but also so we could be free of our grave clothes.

Lazarus experienced a death in his life.   Jesus gave him life.  However, the grave clothes were still on him.  Jesus called others to gather around him to help him get free. 

Jesus’ grave clothes just fell off of Him!  The grave clothes couldn’t stay on Him.  The grave clothes couldn’t hold Him.  That is the resurrection power of Jesus!  It not only brings life, it also removes all signs of death!  It removes all the bondages of death and brings freedom. 

   

I believe these two examples mirror what the Deeper Still team does.  Deeper Still comes alongside those who are still wearing their grave clothes and helps them get loosed and free!

More importantly, Deeper Still provides an environment for an encounter with the living God.  And when those grave clothes are hit with the resurrection power of Jesus Christ, Lord Almighty, the grave clothes just start falling off!!  That is what is so exciting to see!

 

The grave clothes fall to the ground.  We see the grave clothes lying there.  And like Peter, we marvel at what has happened--the resurrection power of Jesus.  Oh Lord, we marvel at Your love and glory. 

  

Only Ask {And Praying for Bolivia Trip!}

“Only ask, and I will give you the nations for your inheritance, the whole earth as your possession.”  Psalm 2: 8

Father, You said, “Only Ask.”  Lord, we ask for You to send Deeper Still to all the nations.  We ask for the healing message of Your Gospel to go forth through Deeper Still to all the ends of the earth.  We ask for the truth of abortion to be known and for the abortion wounded to be freed.  We ask for You to give us the nations for Your inheritance.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

I opened my email.  In my inbox that day was an email from a lady in South America.  She was desperate.  Her heart was broken over having an abortion.  She had read my other blog, Living Free in Him, and had read my story and about Deeper Still.  She pleaded through her words for help.  She asked if there was a Deeper Still where she lived in Guyana, South America.  I sadly had to tell her there was not. The closest involvement of Deeper Still was in Ecaudor, 2200 miles away.  Same continent, but not exactly next door. 

My heart was broken for her.  All I could do was encourage her, share the truth of God’s love and grace, and pray.   

One thing Deeper Still has been praying for years is to expand to reach more people like her, desperate for healing. 

Well, this coming week, Karen Ellison (the founder of Deeper Still), Carla Martin and Sharon Kinder are all heading out on the first international Deeper Still Mission trip with Life International.  To say we are excited, is quite an understatement!  They are traveling to Bolivia, which is also in South America! 

We have asked the Lord to expand Deeper Still to the North, South, East and West to reach the abortion wounded, and to see this prayer beginning to be answered is exciting! 

The great commission is to go into all the world and preach the Good News (Mark 16:15).  Deeper Still started with going into its community, which is part of all of the world, and it is so amazing to see how God is expanding its borders into more of the world.   My prayer is that someday when we get an email from a lady desperate for healing, whether in Guyana or Uganda, Deeper Still will be there to bring the message of Good News. 

Please join us in praying for Karen, Carla, and Sharon as they travel to Bolivia to share the Good News of healing and freedom with Life International. 

  

Jesus Take the Helm

“And when He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, "Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch...And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.”  Luke 5:4,6

Dear Lord,  As the Deeper Still leadership seeks you for your plan for them for 2015 and beyond, will you show them where to cast their nets?  We thank you that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are found in you Jesus Christ.  We're asking that you reveal to Deeper Still those treasures of wisdom, strategy and power so that they can be fishers of men; bringing the good news of salvation, healing and deliverance from abortion wounded hearts.  Amen!

Deep water has always caused me hesitation.  Whenever I go to the beach, I tend to stay where my feet can touch and where I can see what lies below the surface of the waves.  When I can see, then I know where to step.  It takes faith and courage to go out to the deep. 

A few years ago, my husband and I went to Key West for vacation.  While we were visiting, we went on an excursion out into the middle of the ocean, to the deep.  The captain of the ship knew where he was going and had taken multitudes of tourists to this familiar destination.  He knew where it was safe to go.  He knew the route.  He knew what lie beneath the surface of the deep. 

He led us to a reef full of beautiful fish.

Because I had confidence that our captain would not lead us into unsafe territory, I had no fear when diving into the deep to snorkel.  The beauty of the reef was the focus of my attention rather than fear.

Peace covered any hints of paranoia.  At one point a barracuda was only about 4 feet away from us!  However, even in the midst of lurking peril, I felt peace. 

  

We can be confident that our Captain will lead us safely to our destination.  He knows the deep.  He sees below the surface.   Our Captain knows where the dangers are and He knows how to maneuver us to the areas of beautiful reefs.  And yes, there may be many pointy teeth within feet of us.  But when we rest in His guidance and care, peace can prevail even in potential dangers.

When Peter went out into the deep, it was on faith.  He was the captain of his fishing vessel.  It did not make sense to Peter to go back out after fishing all night and catching nothing.  He had already been out there. However, he couldn’t see what Jesus saw.  Jesus saw below the surface. Jesus saw the fish.

   

But Peter said, “Nevertheless at Your word I will let down my net.”

Peter had faith to go even when he couldn’t see into the deep.  Peter was willing to relinquish his captainship to a Higher Captain.

We have a Captain who leads us safely through the waves to a predetermined location full of beautiful fish.  All we have to do is let down our nets and get ready for a catch. 

Jesus, take the Helm.